The teen diary

Who am i?? Who is my mom?? (Teen diary)

Why do people who don't even know me call me names or give me a label. It's stupid. I get judge because of the way I act. I'm weird and I know it. I act that way for a reason. I don't want people to know how I really feel. I don't want people to feel bad for me. I don't like all that attention. I mean I want people to notice me but not when I am sad or mad or just not happy with life it's self. Like my friends told me they never know when I'm sad. Well I think that is a good thing because I don't want them to know how I really feel because if they did I bet you they would worry about me and feel bad for me. I don't want that. I don't want them to care. I love them and everything like a lot I just don't want them to care so much about me. I'm not a big deal I am just like others.

Okay so I got a call from my grandma the other day and she said my mom called her. Apprentice my mom is sorry for everything she has done to hurt me and want me to give her my number so she can call me from prison. I don't think I am ready for that yet. I don't want to be mean because I do love her I just don't want to deal with her. What would I do if she hurt me again. What if she drags me back with her. I can't take a chance like that and put my life in danger. I just wonder if she is going to go back to drugs when she gets out. If she does I bet if I go see her she will hit me again. I bet she won't care about what I have to say and just hit me. I am so scared of her and what she can or will do.

I really miss her a lot because she is my mom and I will always love her. I just can't take the fact that she hates me so much when she is on drugs. I can't stand the fact that she choose drugs over all her kids, who does that. I mean I. Can't say much because I am not in her place but my opinion is that, that is stupid. I wonder if she is thinking about me right now. I wonder if she still cares about me like she says she does. I can't stand the fact that she is being hurt but I can't help her. I miss her so much but I know this is best for her.