hold me down

analepsis

tw: mentions of drug use and assault

Breeauna's point of view

---flashback---

I just stood there behind her, unsure of what to do and feel, seeing her reflection in the mirror in front of her. Her nostrils were dusty, she looks so tired. I never saw her looking like this or even see her in this state. It doesn't look like her, it's as if I was looking at someone else.

"What are you doing?" I asked her, my voice shaky. She turned her head and looked at me, her eyes tired and her under eyes dark. I looked on the counter and saw lines of coke and a card with a chalky edge. I fell into a trance, completely frozen with the sight in front of me. The first thing I thought about was her parents.

I turned around and ran to the door but before I  even touched the knob, my hair was already in her hand. She pulled me with so much force then threw me on her bed.

I couldn't speak, I was so scared. I felt tears dripping down as I looked into her dilated pupils. I wanted to speak but before words even come out of my mouth, her hand was already wrapped around my neck. She was gripping so tightly that I was losing air. I feel blood rush to my head and I started to feel lightheaded. She was saying something but I couldn't understand. I tried slapping her hand away from my neck but she doesn't budge.

Her eyes widen when she realized what she was doing. She let go of my neck and backed away from me. I started coughing, I touched my neck and started taking deep breaths, desperate for air.

I looked at her and she was running her fingers through her hair, pushing them away from her face. She had beads of sweat on her forehead and her teeth was grinding against each other. I watched her as she walked back in her bathroom, inhaling more of the coke.

I walked over to her, unable to control the tears from running down my face. "Please, don't" I pleaded, my voice hoarse. "Stop, Zoe" I gently pulled her away but she pushed me too hard which made me fall to the ground.

"Stop touching me" she said through gritted teeth and walked towards me. She slapped me across my face and I felt my cheeks sting from the impact of her palm to my face. She started pulling on her hair aggressively, she looked like she was gonna cry too. I can see the frustration in her eyes.

I couldn't stop sobbing which made her more aggravated. "Zoe, please stop" I swallowed hard and pulled on the hem of her oversized shirt, hoping she will stop. "I'm begging you, please" I hugged her leg, trying to get her attention.

"Stop talking, Bree" she started wiggling her leg, attempting to get me off her but she kicked my stomach instead which made me lay on the floor and cry in pain. She hunched down to get to my level and grabbed my face. "Shut up!" she yelled.

I closed my eyes, not wanting to look at her anymore and covered my mouth to stifle my sobs. I was afraid she might hit me again if she hears me cry. She started screaming violently, I covered my ears and focused on my breathing. My chest was starting to tighten and it's getting harder for me to breathe.

I felt her hand grab my hair which made my eyes flutter open. She pulled me and shoved me to the corner. "Don't fucking move, Breeauna" she threatens me. I brought my knees to my chest and my hands around my head to cover myself, afraid she might hit me again.

Her dad soon came and they started arguing, yelling into each other's faces. It hurts to see her like this, she wasn't the Zoe that I used to know. She looked like a different person. Her eyes doesn't sparkle anymore, her cheeks doesn't have that flush of color, she looks so pale and she looks thinner, she looks lifeless. After a month of being away from her, she turned into this girl whom I don't recognize.