Stupid Cupid

17: The Incidental Aftermath

- Bright's POV -

As soon as I hear Win's voice, I stand up, feeling the blood rush through my body. I suddenly come back to life. I realize I haven't been truly living these past few weeks until I hear him tonight.

Ever since I stepped on Earth, I've been used to being alone. I only use my voice to tell the souls I fetch that it's time to go. I sit alone somewhere secluded, looking at the heavens until I fall asleep. I'm accustomed to solitude because I find everyone else annoying. 

That is, until this curious Cupid barges into my life almost two centuries ago, a moment I didn't know would become the turning point of my existence here on Earth.

...194 years ago...

It's rare to see an Amos and an Azrali in a room together, let alone talking with each other. We are just too different—like black and white, like light and dark. So, imagine my surprise when an Amos suddenly sits beside me one gloomy morning. The skies hide the sun as I lay on the grass after a long night of picking up more souls than I'm used to.

The audacity of this Amos to come near me!

"Hi there!" he chimes, which only irritates me more.

I ignore him, giving him a look that clearly says he's not welcome here. This is my turf—I've declared it.

But you know what he does? He takes off his coat, lays it on the grass, and stretches out beside me!

"What are you doing?!" For the first time in my life, I have spoken to someone outside my job.

"Making friends," he replies, smiling widely.

Yuck. I hate smiles like that. They look too sweet; it's annoying.

"Then go away. I don't want to be your friend."

"You will be," he says confidently, making me laugh. "I want to be your friend. I don't have any other friends outside the Bureau."

"And there's a good reason for it," I retort, growing more frustrated. "Now, go away and stop bothering me!"

He chuckles. He. Chuckles.

The audacity?! Really?!

"You won't be able to get rid of me that easily. I'm not going away. Ever."

For the first time, I laugh—not out of happiness, but because I genuinely find him absurd.

"As if."

"You'll see."

True to his word, I couldn't get rid of him after that day. It felt like every time I looked around, he was there. He pestered me, followed me everywhere, always asking questions when he knew I hated talking, and dragged me to crowded places with humans and all the other creatures in Inania until I eventually stopped trying to escape him. I let him do what he wanted, calling me a human name and making me buy him sweets. 

Our lives became intertwined like that until I found myself looking forward to starting my day and seeing him. I thought I had been living a good life until he proved me wrong.

Two decades later, I began to see Win differently. His smile brought an automatic smile to my face. His simple touches on my hand stirred something inside me. His chirpy voice, which I had once hated, became melodic to my ears. I had learned to enjoy his presence in my life—and for the first time, I actually considered him a friend.

Then these past few weeks, I started feeling... things. Things I never knew I was capable of feeling. Things I never thought would happen to me. 

I am an Azrali. A Grim Reaper. I have always believed a creature like me isn't built to have feelings like this. But now, I do.

Then he suddenly disappeared, and for the first time in a long time, I felt lost. I felt lonely. I felt incomplete. 

You might think that with him gone, I can just revert to my old ways—I can focus on myself and my job and forget about this Tawan-Thipoom problem. But as soon as I saw Win leave, it didn't even occur to me to carry on. I searched everywhere for him but couldn't find him. I was almost late to meet some of my souls to reap because I was too busy frantically looking for him.

At some point, I knew he's going to be punished. I knew we would have to say goodbye eventually. But not this soon. 

Not when I am just beginning to realize my feelings. Not when I haven't had enough time to show him how I feel. Not when I'm not ready—though I don't think I will ever be.

Three days ago, I received a summons to travel to Inania. Uncertain of the reason, I went immediately, hoping to see Win there. 

When I arrived, however, my world crumbled beneath me. My heart sank as I realized the magnitude of the situation—I had been summoned because they had discovered everything: my abuse of power, my manipulations of human lives beyond the bounds of my duties. 

It was a serious violation to interfere in human affairs that are outside the meets and bounds of our roles, as our purpose was to enhance their outcomes by guiding their lives. Yet I had crossed those lines repeatedly, all in an effort to help Win. I wanted to ease his burdens; I wanted to protect him.

As I faced the internal auditors of the Bureau to which I belonged and heard the consequences of my actions laid bare before me, one thought consumed my mind: not yet.

I still haven't found Win. I can't just disappear. What if he comes back and finds me gone? What if we never see each other again? The thought of not seeing him again breaks my heart. 

I've always thought humans exaggerated when they said that phrase, but now I know how it feels. I can feel my heart being torn apart, piece by piece, as I imagine a future without him. And it's all just pitch black.

I beg them to give me time to sort my affairs out, and thankfully, they agree. 

Finally, Win is here. 

I turn on the lights, eager to see him. I run to him and hug him tight. For the first time in my life, I break down and cry. His scent, his voice, his smile—I miss everything about him.

Win looks at me, concern filling his eyes. "Hey... Bright," he says, raising his hands to cup my face. He wipes my tears with his thumbs, just like humans do. As I gaze at him, I can't help but cry harder. I miss him so much, and I know I'm going to miss him again.

"What are you talking about? Leave?" he asks. 

I gulp down the mucus in my throat, struggling to hold back more tears. I aggressively wipe my eyes with the sleeves of my black coat. "I m-meant," *hic* "that," *hic* "before I-I," *hic* "leave to-to work," *hic* I stammer, unable to speak straight through the hiccups caused by my heavy sobs.

I've never felt longing in my entire existence. I've never felt lost and defeated. Win, everything with you has been a lot of firsts. You're right in front of me, yet I still feel this ache of missing you.

I can't tell you yet that I'm leaving. I want my last days with you to be like old times, filled with memories I can carry with me when I go. 

"Oh, you mean to leave for work," he chuckles, pressing my cheeks together. "Then come back soon, okay? I have a lot of things to tell you," he giggles before letting me go.

I watch him lie down on the gathered chairs he made himself. Right. I guess I can just buy him a bed and pillows before I leave. I want him to have a comfortable life without me, and I'll make sure it happens in the few days I have left.

I promise you, Win. I promise.

***