S e c r e t

Chapter 32- Wait.

I couldn't sleep knowing what was coming.
I decided to stay up and watch over you for the remainder of the night. As you lie there, tangled in my arms, soaking in my embrace even while asleep.

I want to be selfish just a little while longer. I don't know how long it will be until I will get to hold you like this again, safe in my arms. I admired every part of your body that was uncovered under the sheets.
Your pale face. Your delicate, fragile hands. The ones that hold mine so lovingly. Your eyes, peacefully shut. Your beautiful locks sprawled across the bed.
Your bare chest, your curves. The Individual earring that dangle from your ear. I've had the second piece hidden away, for I only have one piecing hole. Something deep down inside me told me to keep the other earring. I didn't understand why at the time, but it was as if my future self was hinting to my past self that I needed to keep it. To keep it just for you.

My other half.

You are so breathtakingly beautiful, my love. I wish I could just tuck you away where no one else can see you, just me. Maybe one day I can take you to travel all of Teyvat. No harbinger responsibilities, just the two of you living freely.

I propped myself up against my pillow, pulling your body closer to mine.
You groaned a little as you adjusted yourself. You were quite the deep sleeper.

"Ngggg, Ajax...." I heard you murmur.

I stroked your hair, gently brushing out any tangles.
"Yes, my love?" I whispered, lowering my head to yours.

I was greeted with your tiny snores once more. I smiled to myself. Talking about me in your sleep...

I had the note written out, laid on the nightstand. I was waiting for my tear stains to dry.
Very mature, Tartaglia. Crying over a girl... Shameful.

I could just picture myself from a few months ago cackling at how pathetic I've become.

But crying over you is valid. I feel like a piece of my heart is torn out when you aren't with me. It's like I'm attached to you. You have me on a leash.

You taught me to feel again. Not just rage and bloodlust, but feelings I never thought I'd ever feel.

But yet, just as soon as I thought I finally had you, you're stolen away from me.

Hopefully the cover story works.
You're far from stupid, so I can only hope this buys me some time.

I can't afford to almost lose you again.
Please don't come after me, y/n.
Just wait for me.
I will come back to you.
I'm not leaving you.
Just trust me.
Don't lose that trust.
No matter what happens.
It will be hard.
But I will prove,
My undying loyalty for you.
My undying love.
For you and you only.
I don't hate you.
I fucking love you more than you could ever know.

But I can't give you the answers you are going to be searching for.

Not quite yet.

Just please, allow me to be selfish once more.
And just wait.

I wrapped my arms around you, hugging you, breathing in your scent. I tried my hardest to engrain everything about you in this moment into my brain. It's best you aren't awake to see me in this messy state. I haven't even left your side, yet I'm already missing you.

I slowly pushed myself out of bed, the cold air greeting me. I forgot I'm naked. It isn't even a Thursday afternoon and I'm double cheeked up.
I turned around once more, gazing down at your sleeping figure. I pulled the blankets up, assuring you were still warm. Hopefully you sleep in. I know how much you like to do that.

I hope that no storms come while I'm away. I know how much you hate those. Snezhnayan storms can be brutal.

I quickly slipped on my uniform, positioning my mask upon my ginger locks. I waltzed over to the wardrobe and pulled out a spare uniform jacket of mine. I have at least five of the same jacket, the same design on all of them. I rolled the sleeves up so you wouldn't have to. I folded it neatly, placing it onto the nightstand, repositioning the note on top.
I felt my heart sink as I added on a few details, finishing it off with a scribbly smiley face. It would have been neater if I wasn't shaking.

I take a deep breath, throwing the pen back down. I take one last look at you, placing a light kiss atop your forehead.

"Until next time, girlie." I whispered, giving you a sad smile.

The dreaded time has come.
I opened the door, exiting and gently closing it behind me.
I go and say goodbye to mother who was waiting for my departure.

"You will do the right thing, Ajax. I believe in you."

I hug her before beginning my departure. I lock the door from the outside and glance back at the house once more.

With my lies in tow, my script memorized, I dug my boot into the fresh snow.

Crunch

One step.
And another.

The only thing that remained ahead of me was the untouched snow and an unknown future. I gazed ahead, the crisp wind biting my face.

"Please, girlie. Just wait for me."
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Chapter 32- End.

ANGST ANGST ANGST

I feel my work is going down hill, but I'm going to turn that around!

Make sure you are all getting enough sleep! I care for you all!! <3