Family is Forever (Sequel to Running on Insulin)

Chapter 22

I held Samantha as she slept, sitting on the floor.

"She okay?" Brendon asked.

"She will be. These episodes wear her out," I said.

"I can imagine."

"It's been a while since her last episode like this. She was 610 at the hospital and I can only imagine what Stanley did or said when she was this high with him."

"What happens now?" Brendon asked.

"We wait for her to wake up, and see how she feels. She might want to go to bed, she might be hungry or not. She'll likely be embarrassed, though. So, don't draw too much attention."

"Should we keep decorating or wait?" Sarah asked.

"Let's wait a bit. Maybe she'll feel like joining in when she wakes up."

We sat around and talked quietly while Samantha slept on.

A little while later, she started stirring. By the way she was starting to writhe, I figured she was having a nightmare.

"Shh, shh," I said. "You're okay. You're safe."

She startled awake and looked around. She realized where she was and looked up at me. Tears spring to her eyes as she realized what had happened.

"Shh," I said, hugging her close. "It's okay. It's okay."

She turned her head into my chest and cried. Silently.

"Shh. Shh," I said, rubbing her back until she calmed down.

Once she calmed down, she wiped her eyes and looked up at me.

"Hi there," I smiled at her. "Want to help decorate the tree?"

She looked over at the tree and shrugged.

"We saved some for you to help out if you want." Sarah said, kneeling beside Sam and rubbing her back. Samantha shook her head.

"Are you sure?" Sarah asked.  Samantha nodded.

"Want to stay and watch us?" I asked. She shrugged and then nodded.

"Okay, sweet girl.  Hop up onto the couch. And you can join in and help at any time, okay?"

She nodded, stood up and sat, curled up, on the couch. Sarah sat beside her and offered a hug.  Samantha leaned in to her.

Brendon, Josh, Jenna and I continued decorating the tree and putting out some of the other Christmas decorations we had.  Now and then, I'd turn to Samantha and ask her if an ornament looked good where I was placing it, or try to elicit some response or opinion. She usually just shrugged.

Sarah, I could see, was whispering in her ear and occasionally Sam would nod or shake her head.

When we were done with the tree, and all that was left was the star for the top, I looked over at Sam and asked her to put the star on top.

She shrugged.

Brendon went over to her and kneeled in front of her.

"If I pick you up, do you want to put the star on?"

She shrugged and looked at the top of the tree.

"It's the last thing that needs doing, and I think it'd be cool if you did it," Brendon said.

Samantha sighed and nodded. Brendon helped her stand up and they walked over to the tree.

"Okay, ready?" Brendon said. Samantha nodded and Brendon picked her up so she was basically sitting on his shoulder. I handed her the star and shakily, she put it on top. Brendon stepped back and put her back down on the ground then put his arm around her shoulder. I plugged in the tree and the lights all lit up.

Everyone was smiling. Everyone, that is, except Samantha. She just stared at the tree.

After we all took in our work, Jenna suggested hot chocolate and cookies. Samantha shrugged and headed towards the stairs.

"Sam, honey," she said. "Don't you want hot chocolate and cookies?"

She put her head down and shook it. No.

"Oh, sweetie. Come. I can make you hot chocolate with your sugar free syrup, and we can dose for a couple cookies," Jenna said, putting her arm around Samantha.

She let herself be led into the kitchen and Jenna sat her at the table.

I heated up some milk in a pot and Jenna pulled out mugs and Samantha's syrup and regular syrup. She made Samantha's first and then handed her her insulin and the cookie package. Samantha looked at the cookies and shook her head. She took a few units to cover the hot chocolate though.

She sat and listened while the rest of us ate cookies and talked and joked around.

After we cleaned up from our snack, Jenna looked at the clock and declared bedtime for Samantha. It was 9:45 and we'd set 10 as her bedtime.

Jenna and Samantha went upstairs and everyone said good night to Sam and she waved back.

The rest of us went and sat in the living room and I turned on the TV. More for background noise than anything.

"Has Doc said anything?" Josh asked.

"Not really, no.," I replied. "He's still convinced it's selective mutism. And he thinks she'll come out of it. But he still can't discuss Stanley's death with her."

"There's got to be a way," Brendon said. "I mean, maybe the bandaid solution?"

"The what?" I asked.

"The bandaid solution. Just show her the article. Let her read it and see that he's really gone. Let her process that. Then maybe she can heal from this, knowing the threat of him coming back really is gone."

I sighed.

"I'll ask Doc about that. I really don't want to derail anything. I know it feels like there's been no progress, but she's stopped running out of the room if Jenn leaves and one of us are in there with her.  That's something."

"I guess," Josh said.

"We have no idea what happened that week," I said. "We have no idea what he said, what he did or what ideas he put in her head.  We got her back alive, and I was convinced we wouldn't. Especially after hearing the gunshot.  We need to be patient."

"I know," Josh said.  "It's just hard. Before, she was really warming up.  She was funny and engaged. Now, she's like a ghost."

"I know," I said. "I know."