Shahla couldn't bear to look herself in the eye, much less leave her room.
A rapping knock sounded from her door.
"Shahla? You've been cooped up in your room all day." Lokapele's voice. "There's a lot of exciting shit happening on the ground."
Shahla didn't respond.
"Shahla, I'm going to break down this door if you don't give me some sign that you're alive."
"I'm alive." Shahla muttered just as Lokapele kicked the door open.
"Whoops." Lokapele pursed her lips, "Uh...sorry."
Shahla waved away at the Aotearoan, "Eh. Not our house anyway."
"Still, what the hell's wrong with you? You've done nothing but mope since yesterday." Lokapele asked.
"I'm...I'm just...I don't know." Shahla curled her knees up to her chin. "I'm weak. That's what."
"What do you mean you're weak?"
"I'm not a warrior like you or Seang or Najeem." Shahla said, "I'm a sheltered princess who's never known true suffering. I won't be able to fight. I'll just freeze up when I'm needed most. It's my fault that Najeem was captured."
Lokapele opened her mouth to protest.
"Don't tell me it wasn't." Shahla said, "I was there. I could've at least tried to help."
The Aotearoan sighed, "Fine. It was your fault. But what are you going to do about it? Sit here feeling sorry for yourself?"
"I want to help, but I'm just going to get in the way."
"Bullshit! There are kids out there readying to fight a war with the biggest Empire in the world! And you can't get off your ass to give them a helping hand? I've seen you put your life on the line for Najeem before."
"I wasn't scared then."
"Everyone's scared, Shahla! The townsfolk are scared, the rebels are scared, hell I'm scared. We're choosing to fight despite that fear. You can't let it consume you." Lokapele insisted, "You've come this far from your home. Are you just going to give up because you're afraid?"
Shahla sighed, "But what can I do? I'm powerless."
"You're only powerless because you believe yourself to be. No Shedim Master is weak unless they willingly give in to weakness. You wanna do something? Get up, go outside, and pick up a spear. Be willing to bleed. That's it." Lokapele said.
Shahla couldn't look her in the eye.
"Stop wallowing in your guilt and do something. That's the only way you'll be able to forgive yourself."
Shahla nodded. Lokapele was right. The only thing truly holding her back was herself. She wasn't helpless in Aotearoa. She wasn't helpless in Jambudvipa. She wouldn't be helpless ever again after Qahtan.
The princess stumbled to her feet, "I'll fight with Xinhou."
___________________________________________________________________
Kameko's heart counted down the precious seconds before the Nikan assault. Her lungs burned with anticipation while her stomach churned like a storm with dread. She looked up at the orange sky. The sun setting on the city was, to many, an omen of being abandoned by the universe. But to Kameko, she welcomed the night. Blindness would only affect those who didn't know this city like the back of their hand.
She could hear war drums of the enemy over the walls.
Catapults were positioned on the roofs while trebuchets were set up behind the first stretch of bamboo barriers.
YOU ARE READING
The Call of Crows
FantasiaBjorn Stormtamer's world has been turned upside down in more ways than one. His shipmates have left him for dead on an island for quarantining victims of a disease that he now has. His partner in battle despises him, his family thinks he's dead and...
