The Call of Crows

Chapter 46: Futility

Taya leaned against the corner of the lecture hall that had been cleared out for her, her face shrouded in rags.

She rarely had hours of consciousness and even when she had them, her mind was occupied with the hours she spent asleep.

Every time she fell back to sleep, she was subjected to vivid flashbacks and the horrible images and truths the Phantom Queen had exposed her to as though her Shedim were trying to show her something. But what? What more was there to show her? She already knew they were done for. All of humanity was destined to be conquered.

She fought and fought and fought without end, but it made no difference. She couldn't lift the plague from her body. What was she meant to do?

The only thing that she actually understood was the fact that she missed her mother and father dearly.

Her father especially. She'd spent the years after his death trying to be the supportive, inspirational and stable presence he was to her.

But no one could ever replace her father. She wasn't him. So then, what was she?

A fake.

A liar and a deceiver. Everything she claimed to be against. She lied to everyone and herself.

Should she have been so surprised that she'd failed to be like him in the end?

Hell, most of his advice was completely foolish. She'd tried, really tried, to follow it. But she had just convinced herself of a lie and nothing more at the end.

"You grow weaker every day."

Taya looked up and glared at her Shedim. The witch she'd tried to accept. The demon who had brought her life to an end.

"What the hell do you want?" she hissed.

"For you to overcome this hurdle, Taya."

Taya spat at the image of the Phantom Queen. "Stay away. You do nothing but fill my head with nightmares and deceive me."

"How have I deceived you?"

"You actually convinced me for a while that I could save humanity. That I could stop Armageddon. And then you turned around and told me to my face you were lying."

"I said you would never see your dreams realized. Is your life really so empty that you must invent words behind my statements?" the Phantom Queen asked.

"Fuck off. We both know what you meant."

"No. I know what I meant. You...you are the deceiver."

She knew that already.

"Taya?" a careful voice asked.

Her Shedim vanished as she looked up at Bjorn and Najeem.

"Taya! You're awake!" Bjorn rushed over to her and enveloped her in a crushing embrace.

No. No, no, don't do that, Bjorn. Stop it. I'm not...I shouldn't...

She looked at Najeem. "Where are the others?" She sounded weak and sickly.

"On their way. Bjorn said he had a plan to get them into the city and challenge the Twelve. I actually need to go relay that information to them. I wanted to see you first, though. You look like shit, Sergeyev."

With that, the Asasiyun sank into the shadows.

"Are you...okay now?" Bjorn asked.

Taya chuckled, "Am I okay now? Bjorn, I was never okay. None of us are okay!"