I'll Give You What You Want

Together?

I woke up still in a daze. It took me a moment to find myself and then to find Damiano sleeping next to me. His arm behind his head, he didn't use a pillow. He kept pushing them all off to me, not to complain but there is a thing as too many pillows. I slowly get out of bed so I don't wake him and grab the first piece of clothing off the floor. After throwing it on I realize it's his shirt from last night and I smile to myself. I make my way downstairs and begin brewing some coffee.
I thought I'd wake up to a pounding headache from all the drinking last night but it was the complete opposite. As the coffee brewed I walked over to my window and gazed out. I found the spot by my gate Damiano stood at and smiled to myself again.
"Smiling at the scenery?" Damiano wrapped his arms around my waist and planted a kiss on my neck.
"Just lost in thought." I turn and give him a kiss on the cheek. He hums in reply and we stay like this for a moment.
This feeling foreign to me. I had forgotten the last time I was held gently like this the morning after. To be thought of after. My ex had completely ignored me right after we had sex every time. It wasn't like that in the beginning, he was sweet but he had stopped caring. Just using me to finish himself off.
"Get out of your head, let's enjoy the day." Damiano lifted my chin towards him and kissed my forehead. Just like that, my thoughts were erased.
I didn't stop smiling the rest of the day.

_________
"So what you're telling me is," Sarah stifled a laugh, "he rocked your world." I rolled my eyes and she snorted.
  Of course I filled her in as soon as I could. I also told her how I felt the next day, in a happy daze. She smiled as I told her, I could see her happiness for me fill her face.
   "You haven't looked like this in years." She commented through the screen as I took a sip of my drink.
   "What do you mean?" I asked a little confused. I haven't changed anything about my routines.
   "You look like you're alive again. Those dark circles you had are gone, your cheeks aren't as hollow as they were. Hell even your hair has this shine to it that I can't explain. You're just you again." My throat clenched hearing my friend.
  "I know this past year has been a lot for you. And I admit I was nervous. Nervous to see you go across the world alone. In my head I thought the worst," she wiped a tear away, I mirrored her myself, "and then you met this band, these people and I'm so grateful for them." She choked a bit and continued, "they helped you in a way I couldn't. I used to just look at you, back when you were still with him," her face curled in cruelness at the mention of Joe, "and he sucked your energy dry completely. I gladly took you in for my own selfish reason, I-I didn't want you to...." She broke into a sob.
   "That's why I came here. I saw the worry on your face, on everyone's faces at home." I took a deep breath, "you did help me, you know. I'm glad you were selfish and took me in. If you didn't..." I let it hang in the air as we both cleaned our faces.
   "He still needs my approval though!" She giggled and I nodded.
   We spoke about when she visits in two weeks, a week before we go on the European tour. We planned it all out. I took that week off in preparation.

_______
   I didn't see much of the band for a few days. We were all busy with getting ready. Damiano texted me every morning to let me know he's thinking of me. Even during his busy schedule he still found a moment to reach out. My heart skipped in happiness just thinking about it.
   I was helping in a storage room when Vic came and found me. She had a wicked grin on her face as she came in and locked the door.
   "You're not leaving until you tell me every detail! I've been begging Damiano but he won't spill anything. I'm dying!" She shook my shoulders and I laughed at her.
   "What do you want to know?" I asked, faking innocence.
   "Are you the band's wife, yes or no?" She looked at me dead in the eyes.
  "Wife? We only slept together, he didn't ask my hand in marriage." I sputtered out in confusion.
   "So you guys did do it! I knew it!" She jumped up and down then froze.
   "So he didn't ask you to be his girlfriend or anything?" Her eyebrows scrunched together.
  I just shrugged and shook my head.
  In fact, he didn't even say he wanted to at least be fuck buddies. I didn't really process it until Vic looked at me in confusion. Not a girlfriend, just a friend he slept with. I broke myself from my thoughts before they went dark.
   "Vic, he's busy. You're busy! I'm not expecting his all out attention and for him to start a relationship with me." Which was true. Upsetting but true.
   "Becca, mi bella I don't want to see you slip through his fingers. You two are perfect I know it!" She stomped like a toddler and it made me giggle at her.
  "Vic, don't worry about me. I'm here for everyone. Ok?" I hugged her and she hugged back.
   "If he doesn't claim you then I will." She hugged as she let go and opened the door to leave.
   "You got it, sweet-cheeks!" I called out and heard her laugh down the hall.

   If I got in my head about this now, I might ruin any chance I have even just staying here. We're busy. He's a rockstar for fucks sake. It stings, and my heart does hurt a little but I understand. Everyone in the world wants a piece of him, how would they feel knowing he got a new girlfriend? And one that's a fan? They might eat him and me alive.

I sighed and went on with my work day, pushing thoughts of us together down for now.

******
HELLO MY LOVES!
Sorry for the delay, life's been wack out here.
Please let me know what you think!