Fan Interviews His Kiddos

867 20 46
                                    


(Here's a little thing with my Fantube kids, because why not)

(This is taking place when they're little kids, they're around 14-15 in current canon, they're also twins)

(Also, Volkie is short for Paper Mache Volcano, and Fizz's full name is Chinese Fizz, like the drink)

---

Volkie: *points at Fan's hand* See? Look at your ring. You got that from Mommy when you was married, and-

Fizz: Can I feel it?

Fan: *reaches out hand* Yeah, you can feel it. Yeah.

Fizz: I think it's Mommy, because-

Volkie: And- and you're not even-

Fizz: It's because if you hurt your finger, you'll be sad and cry on dat.

Fan: No, right, but I'm not wearing this 'cause I hurt my finger, though.

Volkie: They gave you a ring because you was married to Mommy!

Fan: Do you wanna get married?

Volkie: No!

Volkie: I'm not big like Mommy, I'm not big like Daddy.

Fan: Okay, so, when do you wanna get married?

Volkie: *thinks about it* ...When I'm eighteen.

Fan: When you're eighteen? Who do you wanna get married to?

Volkie: ...Mommy!

Fan: ...

Fan: Okay, uhhhh, when do you wanna get married, Fizz?

Fizz: ...

Fan: Or- do you wanna get married?

Fizz: *nods* Yep!

Volkie: Then you get married to who: Daddy- Daddy, or Mommy?

Fan: ...Well, that's not really the way it works. You could... like- I'm just asking you who? Like, it could be anybody! Who do you wanna get married to?

Fizz: ...Angry.

Fan: Angry?

Fizz: Mhm.

Fan: Why do you wanna get- wait. Why do you wanna get married to Angry?

Fizz: Because I will go into time-out.

Fan: Do you think marriage is like time-out?

Fizz: Yep!

Fan: What do married people do?

Volkie: *raises hand* I know!

Fan: What? What do they do?

Volkie: Um, married people... married people do, um... they stay- they stay each o- with each other the whole entire day!

Fan: Now, after that whole day is done, what do they do the next day?

Volkie: ...The next day, they go back to their parents.

---

Fan: What does "love" mean?

Volkie: Love... love means is when you're hugging... somebody, and then you're... kissing them...

Fan: ...Really?

Volkie: Uh, I wa-

Fan: Your face kinda changed when you said that, like, you look like-

Volkie: I really... I'm not... I ju... I don't know what I'm saying.

Fizz: I love Mommy. I do not love you four times.

Fan: Wait, you love Mommy, but you don't love me four times? Is that what you said?

Fizz: Yep.

Fan: Can you love me one time?

Fizz: ...Yep.

Fan: Thank you.

---

Fan: Where do babies come from?

Fizz: Water and milk!

Fan: They come from water and milk?

Fizz: Yep!

Volkie: And do you know what's so cool?

Fan: What?

Volkie: When your parents eat something, guess what?

Fan: What?

Volkie: Your baby eats it too!

Fan: Wow.

Volkie: Even though it becomes disgusting, your baby, you- the baby still eats it. Last time, when me and Fizz was in Mommy's stomach, guess what just happened?

Fan: What?

Volkie: We was eating Mommy's nachos!

Fan: Wow- her nachos! How did you know she was eating nachos?

Volkie: Because she told me.

Fan: Wow.

---

Fan: Are you a Republican, Democrat, or independent?

Fizz: ...Um, I'm a person! But- I'm a man because- because I'm a boy because- I like-

Fan: You're a man because you're a boy?

Volkie: I'm a hungry.

Inanimate Insanity Incorrect QuotesWhere stories live. Discover now