Rekindling

"There's no going back"

The green swamp water had begun to recede over the years, leaving a thick outline of mud surrounding it. Carson beat Michael to the swamp's edge by nearly a minute, quickly accumulating a mass of sticks. While Michael reluctantly sat on the wet ground, watching Carson toss more wood onto the pile.

Carson grabbed his lighter from his pocket, lighting a bundle of leaves before nesting them beneath the wood. He reached into his back pocket, only to find it empty.

"Dammit! I forgot the lighter fluid." Carson shouted, grabbing his hair.

"It's fine; the fire will spread eventually," Michael said, leaning back.

Carson scoffed, sitting across from Michael. The two stayed silent, Michael entranced by the tiny fire. Carson tapped his finger on his knee, occasionally playing with his leg hair. His eyes would flicker from Michael and then back to the fire. Michael's focus remained fixed on the struggling fire.

"I'm curious. Why wouldn't you want to go back?" Carson asked, fiddling with a twig.

"I told you, I don't know," Michael answered, keeping his attention on the infant flames.

"You have to know. There is a reason for everything."

"Like I said, I have no clue."

"There has to be a reason."

"Can you just drop it?" Michael snapped, now glaring up at Carson.

"No. I want to know."

"Well, I don't know either. Your guess is as good as mine."

"Liar."

Carson beamed at Michael, snapping his twig. Michael glanced back at him, lowering his eyes.

"Tell me the truth," Carson whispered, Michael's eyes widening.

"It's because I don't wanna go back!" Michael shouted, placing his hand on his chest, "Is that what you wanted to hear so bad!? I'm happy right where I am; I don't wanna go back to high school."

"Why not!? High school was the best time of our lives."

"Well, maybe for you!" Michael slammed his fist on the dirt, shouting, "It was miserable for me. I didn't know who I was! There were mountains upon mountains of work! I wanted to kill myself for half of it!"

"But think of all the fun we had together!"

"I don't know what fucking fantasy you're living, but high school was hell!"

"What's so great about right now!?"

"I'm happy now!"

Carson was taken aback with a dangling jaw. Michael pushed himself up, standing with his back turned to the fire. Tears bubbled in each other's eyes.

"Everything is finally falling into place for me." Michael whispered softly, "I have a wife who loves. I just graduated from college; I'm gonna be a doctor. I don't wanna go back. I'm happy right where I am."

"Well, I'm not!" Carson shouted, jumping up and kicking the dying flames.

"Why?" Michael whispered, looking at the ground while holding himself.

"Cause you left me!" Carson yelled, "I thought we would be friends forever. Everything was perfect when I was around you...then you started taking those stupid college classes. Then I went to a trade school, and we just stopped talking. I haven't heard from you in years, and you just show up on my doorstep to rip my heart out one last time. You just left me! I never got to tell you..."

"Life takes people different places..." Michael began.

"...I loved you!" Carson cried.

Michael raised his head, slowly rotating around. Carson's chest rose up and down like he had finished a marathon. Tears rolled down his eyes as his arms hung motionless at his sides.

"I'm sorry, man, that's the crappy part of life. We all have our own paths, and yeah, they intersect for a while but eventually, they'll go their separate ways. I'm sorry about how things ended...but I did enjoy our time together." Michael whispered.

"I thought we were going to spend our lives together. You and I, I loved you." Carson whispered.

Michael drew closer, looking down at Carson with a small smile.

"I loved you too; you were my best friend. But I didn't love you like that," Michael explained.

"I know...but when you lay awake every night thinking about it. It's hard to stop." Carson whispered.

Carson turned his back to the fire, crossing his arms, looking out to the swamp. Michael slowly approached, standing at his side.

"Do you ever think about this place? Sitting by the fire with Jackie, if you even remember her?" Carson asked.

"Of course I do. I thought Jackie and I would be together forever. Even though I'm not with her anymore, I still appreciate my time with her. She made me realize I wanted to be a doctor. I love helping people." Michael said, turning towards Carson, "I still miss our time together...but I'm ready to move on."

Carson turned back to the fire, watching it grow smaller and smaller. He tossed another stick on it before letting the rest fall from his hand.

"I'm sorry for freaking out...I never got over you; I was always jealous Jackie got you, even if it was just for a bit. I love Shannon, and I wouldn't trade her for the world...but even when you find someone new..." Carson sighed, "...it can be hard to leave the ones you loved in the past."

"Life goes on; not everyone you meet is destined to be in your life forever. But, you can still appreciate what they did for you."

"I'm gonna miss this."

"As will I."

The two stood in silence, looking up at the stars above before Carson whispered, "I'm ready."

The two walked away from the swamp, the fire dying behind them.