without you

this feeling - 4

It was an average night for George. He had been crying since he was in the bathroom earlier. Dream had been texting him because George still hadn't answered him. He wasn't sure how to feel about the situation so he laid in his bed and threw a couple of blankets on himself. No one has ever made me feel this way. George thought. He makes me happy and when I'm talking to him I don't hate myself. George's phone buzzed. It was Dream once again.

dream: pls george answer me. you're making me nervous.

George reluctantly opened Discord and started typing.

georgenotfound: sorry, i was busy

dream: its ok. i was just worried about you. i care about you. who called you?

He said it. He cares. George felt giddy and smiled to himself.

georgenotfound: it was my mother, she checked up on me a few days ago and it didnt go well so she apologized

dream: oh, well its good she apologized

George hesitated. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to tell Dream.

georgenotfound: yeah, and the she told me she wanted to get rid of me and send me away

dream: well she cant do anything, youre an adult.

georgenotfound: yeah, sometimes it feels more like she left me instead of me leaving her

dream: i understand, it can be hard leaving someone you love. do you want to call? i hate texting lol

George suddenly felt giddy again as he pressed the call button. The phone rang twice and then Dream picked up.

"Hey!" Dream said enthusiastically.

"Hey. Sorry, I kind of called without saying anything." George said.

"Oh, It's no big deal. I just had to grab my headphones because the speaker on my phone is shitty."

"iPhone 11 baby! The speakers on this are amazing."

"I dropped my phone in a fountain."

"Oh, well then." George had completely forgotten about what happened earlier. Dream had managed to make his worries and negative emotions melt away and replace them with happiness and some other feeling George couldn't name. "What have you been up to?"

"Nothing much, I had work and I came home and we called, and then... yeah." Dream trailed off. It didn't seem like he'd forgotten.

"Sorry about that, my mom just really upset me and I needed time for myself." George replied.

"I understand. Just, please don't make me worry like that again." Dream sounded hurt and he tried to cover it up by sounding aggressive.

"Oh, I didn't realize you were that upset."

"Look, I know we just met, but I think you are really cool. I don't want to info-dump but I can get really bad anxiety. I'm not diagnosed or anything, it just gets bad sometimes. I've never been anxious when talking to you." George was speechless. He couldn't process the words Dream just said.

"I-" George took a deep breath and collected his thoughts. "I understand. More than you know. I don't think I'm ready to talk about it though." Fuck, what is this feeling? George thought

"That's ok, you don't have to right now."

There was silence, but it wasn't awkward. It was almost comforting. I never want to stop talking to him. What if he- George immediately stopped thinking and started talking.

"You know," George paused, "Sapnap has been wanting to come to London. If that ever happened, you could come along."

"I would love to! As long as it's ok with Sapnap of course." Dream replied.

"I'm sure he wouldn't. And you could also see Big Ben in person."

"Oh my god, I didn't even think about that. I would love that."

"And we could just sit there and stare at it." Then the thought crossed George's mind. We could... kiss. George pictured it. It would be perfect, George would just melt in his arms. Wait, what the fuck am I thinking? I just met him. Plus it's not like he feels the same.

"Yeah, that'd be fun. You know, I might actually look into that. I'd love to see London and you obviously." The way Dream said that made George feel that certain way he always did. Dream had changed George's life for the better. George was in the dark before they met, and Dream brought him into the light. Now George never wanted to let go. All he had to do was play it cool until the right time.

"Well, I have to go now. It's getting late here." George didn't want to leave, but he was getting tired.

"Aw, well, talk tomorrow maybe?" Dream asked in his optimistic tone.

"Yeah, definitely." George replied.

"Ok, goodnight."

"Goodnight." George left the call and rolled over on his bed onto his back.

He's never getting rid of me. George thought. I'm scared of him leaving, but I can't tell him. Not yet. George reached over to his bedside table and grabbed his bottle of melatonin and took one.

I'm gonna love you forever.