Anxious around you

Sams pov (part 5)

6:09 am and Im wide awake, staring at the ceiling, what the actual fuck did I just do?
Deena is asleep beside me, she sleeps so peacefully with her hair all over her face, I tuck some of it behind her ear and return to my thoughts. After what happened... I slept for a few hours but I woke up and remembered everything. What will my parents think? I never came back home last night, they're gonna kill me, shit.

Just before I went over to Kate's, my parents and I got into another argument. They think I don't know what's going on, I wish they would just get divorced already so this could be over. in my house it's either really loud or really quiet. When both my mom and my dad are at home, you can count on a screaming match. They can't be in the same room for more than ten minutes without going for each others throats, even if I'm right there. I think my mom cheated on my dad a few years ago, I don't know if she still is but if she did, my dad definitely knows. My dad is the type of person to not ever accept defeat, everything's a competition. He would never even suggest a divorce or separation, no matter how tired of fighting they both must be. So after the argument yesterday, I ran out the door and walked over to Kate's.

I can't believe any of last night actually happened. What does any of it mean? Was it wrong? Is it wrong if I liked it? So many thoughts, sometimes I wish that my brain would shut up.

Maybe I shouldn't have stayed at Deena's, I shouldn't have. Girls aren't supposed to like girls that way... it's wrong, even if it didn't feel wrong. I should go home. What am I even doing here?

I got up and grabbed my clothes, threw on a t shirt and sprinted out the door before even getting out of Deenas pjs.

I got home and ran up to my room.

8:17 am
It's so quiet in my house when my parents are asleep, it feels like no one else is even here. I got into my bed and pulled the covers over my head, my sheets are cold since the last time they were slept on was two nights ago. The T-shirt I grabbed off the floor smells like Deena, it smells of her vanilla shampoo or something. That's what her hair smells like anyways, sweet.

I slept for a few more hours before I heard a nock at my bedroom door, it was my mom.

"Listen, Samantha. I'm sorry about last night." She started
She must not have noticed that I didn't come home, I sat up on my bed and stared at her.
"It's okay, I'm fine." I just want this conversation to be over with, I've already had it a million times and I do not need it again.
She started to leave when she took a double take at me.
"Where did you get that shirt? You don't listen to any rock bands."
Shit.
"Oh, I- uhm, I borrowed it! Off Kate, the cheerleader!"
"The cheerleader listens to 'the pixies'?" She glanced down at the shirt and read the name as she spoke.
"Yeah totally, it's like a really popular band right now, can I be left alone to wake up in peace now?" I groaned.
"Sure, be down for breakfast in twenty minutes." She closed the door behind her.

That was close, I should probably return the shirt, but if I see Deena again... what if what happened last night happens again?

I got dressed and went down stairs, and ate some pancakes before running out the door, I decided to clear my head and go on a walk. I needed to think.
But somehow I ended up at deenas house again, I can't stop thinking about her, about last night... I walked up to her house and went to nock, but I stood back and walked away. What has this girl done to me?

When I got home I ran up to my room
RING RING
It was my telephone, I answered as soon as I got upstairs, out of breath.
"Hello?" I said
"Hey Sam, it's Kate."
"Hey Kate, what's up?"
"I just realized I had no other plans for the weekend so if you're free we should definitely go shopping, I need some new ribbons for cheer."
"Sure thing, I'll be over in a few."

I hung up the phone, got ready and met up with Kate, we spent the afternoon running around shady side mall and luckily didn't run into Deena.
Kate asked me how the ride home was and I panicked so I lied and said it was fine and I just went home after. She giggled like she already knew what had happened and changed the subject.

|| hi hiiiii, sorry for the wait!!!! I think I'm back to daily posts so dwww!||