Splitted Self:soul From The Past

chapter-6

Present
Vanilla's POV

As i walk down the plane silent street for an evening weekend walk which i barely get chance to catch with due to other fishes for me to fry , my eyes appreciate the blanket of boysenberry with a tinge of lilac colour horizontally mushroomed over the collossal sky , softness of evening breeze in the october percolated my skin.I descend my pace into strolling from that of gushing as my soul comforted into the atmosphere.

After I  crossed half the lane and number of houses passed by , i felt my jagging -which i prefer for timing currently -stretchly pulled a little as if someone signaling me to pause .
I grab the hand that clutched my peice of clothing a bit loosely yet enough to not let go .

As i turn the head on my shoulders without letting my body to stir, my beats inside my covering , now audible to my ears itself, vivid enough to be ditinguished one from other, and lazily countable yet ironically excited over the view against my eyes and hence freeze my orbs .

I look down over the little body standing while not ever leaving my jaggings as if i am the only prisoner last about  to run .
A little girl , around 8 probably ,a paper seeming one with rat eyes as they too tired from searching food , gazing at me with visage that talked innocence with prittiness thicken behind grime .

Her hopeful , asking and wanting unsaid words hiding behind the vail of sheer expressions , made me to stable on my knees and so do i then  brought her hand from peice of clothing into my palm as i wrapped my fingers around her hand  and squashed lighlty a gesture of comfort .

She keeps shut on tiny  lips as i ask her more andmore . The ongoing silence demotivated me and i move my gaze onto her bare feet .

My voice crumbled as discover i ,how hurt she is on the right crus of her leg , a dried wound , probably some animal nibbed over there . In my  attempt to touch , her limb shuddered a little .
Her eyes are so heart melting and convincing that i now can not move a step leaving her here

Thoughtlessly i pick her up bridal style , how ligh weight, and thus i decide not to ask any further .

Who is she , what has happened to her, has she met  disaster , probably so has  her family, how she got so hurt, why wont she speak, how am i gonna mindkeep her .

With each step i proceed , i encounter number of thoughts pouring into my head . Weather good or bad , weather right or wrong , i need to protect her cause assoon as she cllinged on my wears she is one among my responsiblities .

I remeber how my love and i always had dreams of a girl daughter since the days of our hardships till we met and then seperated forever .

How desperate she had always been to see me be the mother of her baby which we would be adopting . We had plans , we used to chatter and enjoy the overnight talks about our would be coming girl child .
She wanted to adopt one and give her , her sirname .

This girl i carry in my hands , who is looking at me continously , which i do not mind as the gesture is peaceful -arose my past memories and want of girl child .

A tear unfurls from my eye and i found myself agonising in pain as i miss her more and more over each breath i take and each beat my heart does. Every day i live , i inhale in this air , i feel died a little more .

After she died in Mumbai , i left the city and the country , flew back like cowards , to my home country Italy . 

Stublimg back from my thoughts , i pressed breaks and unbuckle the girl's seat belt . I moved out of the car and reached her side to carry her out and staright in home . Meanwhile i called my doctor ,Miss alina , to head  staright at my place .

My legs trudged heavily on the entrance steps as if i have forgotten about a responsibility i carry , which makes her sore part excalately quiver, causing her novicly producedand crosslinked fibroblasts break , hence the blood oozes out , thus wetting the wound with reddish shade .
The dripping blood soothly slipped down her legs to my fingers wrapped onto her .

On crossing the main door's frame into the house , my eyes heed on the critical state her woumd has taken into. This forms inner liquid in my eyes melt more and form tears .

Reagardless of my current motion, i find disorientation subduing my conscience , the most familiar and well aware place to me started looking like a twisting maze, unfamiliar corners and walls webbing about my sides.
All because of this little heavenly figure with such innocence and her sufferings effecting me with this sharpness .All i can ask is ,WHY?

My hands start moving robotically, and settles her over the living's sofa without ordering transmissions from my brain which has now froze over the pain of that little heavenly fellow who have now passed into unconsciousness .Hunger probably wiped over her strength and who knows how long have she been suffering this injury .

As the doctor notices me go rigid over the area i confine myself in , she shakes me to the side so she come face on with the girl  in order to espy the lass's state while i just watch her empathetically .

"Wipe your tears , you look horrible"
Commented the doctor , without even favouring me a glare .she is Alina , Alina williams , one of the best doctors of the city and finest in her works with fortune she happens to be my best friend

I get it staright , cause it is not far from reach to where the comment is directed to , me being well aware of how much have i been crying since the first gaze i gave to this child.

She is just a normal being like many others who walk bare foot and hunger striken , wounds covering their body , yet i never cried for one though i have felt empathy and hence i  always have given hands of assistance .

I have no idea why the girl i have met just a few moments before, feels so sticked ro my heart , the same heart which had vanished the long ago .
It feels as if it wants to beat twice the amount it ever did .
Why she seems to bringaches and invariable pangs , bounded with prisioning memories .
She has the same brwon eyes that i had ever died on .
It has been decades, noe i myself has lost the memories of the last time i cried this way apart from the nights i had made more darker by missing her.

May be life has again brought a purpose to me but this time no worlds connected no hearts deserted and souls shattered .
May be i  have to live a life again for i see a reason lying after me .

I dont even know her good name, less she dont speaks .

"Are u gonna save me ?"

Hears a soft voice , my ears which melt my frozen state and i gulp in amaze .

Wait !! did she just speak !!....