Meeting Myself

Chapter 5

#Shanaya's diary

#December 15,2014

I was getting encouraged. I was feeling good about myself. I was actually accepting my body because I thought such a personality like me couldn't fit into a small body! But suddenly "Bham" "Bhoosh".
Everything TRAMPLED under foot.

I wish I had not gone to the ball yesterday. I should've known! How could I be so stupid?! I didn't notice until some salty water meets the tip of my tounge through my parted lips.

**Yesterday @ball**

"Shanaya! Come here darling." My dad called me from the other corner of the room, with a young handsome guy besides him.

"Yes dad,coming!" I sang and headed towards them.

"Mr.Francis, meet my lovely daughter Shanaya, my most precious entity on earth".

"Ofcourse!" Said the young man. "Hello" I greeted,blushing a bit.

"Dad, I need to go. See ya soon and Please enjoy the party Mr.Francis."

After meeting the hot guy aka Mr.Francis, the only heir of the Indian-Italian billionaire, I headed towards the restroom to check myself in the mirror.I looked cute.

After an hour so, I went to the bar to relax down. "One rum with coconut water please!"  I ordered to the bartender sitting at a negligible spot at the bar.

"Mother Mary! I would kill myself if I had such a daughter" I hear someone talking behind my back, ofcourse not noticing my presence since I was hardly visible from my spot. " What do you mean by that John?" asked a guy wearing black tuxedo and his hair sleekishly combed back with gel,giving him a sexy look.

"Did you just look at her? Oh Lord! The ugliest girl I have ever met! And when she came, I thought she was about to cause a earthquake! I sincerely thank God nothing such happened. I mean! Look at her WIDE thighs and hips! She is as wide as if someone has pulled her legs to the most extreme. Can she get any fatter?" He said

When I heard such things, anger raged through me and I wanted to slap that mouth the fuck up! I went on my toes to see the person and I notice 'The Hot Guy' aka Mr.Francis, describing me gracefully.

I broke down. I was shattered. I was clueless. Am I actually what he said? I asked myself after knowing what people think about me.

"Oh Her! Ugh, Relax! I know her. Trust me buddy, the feeling's mutual." Said the tuxedo guy making his voice mire audible as he turned back suddenly from the choking voices. They were mine. Oviously as I tried to control my feelings. When he turned back, I met the same pair of eyes and fair skin. "So this is what he thinks about me!" I said to myself as I ran to the exit whimpering as the two boys face the floor and hung their heads low in embarrassment.

I went running to my home from the ball as it was just a couple of blocks away. I slammed the door and jumped into my bed, covering myself with white covers as I began to feel numbness in my body.I didn't notice I was asleep till I suddenly wake up from a nightmare screaming, recalling the ball.

**Present**

I tasted saltiness in my mouth and didn't care to cry myself out. My heart was broken into a million pieces. Again. So i decided, I will not will not allow any one to come close to me. I am done with it. This is my life! I am all alone in this world! I never needed anyone's help, I never will need. Not until my heart is pumping blood into my system. And not help specially of the ones with a hanging penis. I bloody don't need their help. Let them masturbate infront of the mirror and stick themselves there until they don't turn into ribcages!!

I am fat? Really? And what are you? A Calvin Klein model? You are absolute shit! If you don't look good enough, how do you expect us to look like Victoria's secret angels?

Shit. Holy fucking shit. And that gym guy, is dead for me.

I held my head high as pride enters me and I smile after a long time genuienely.

Suddenly someone knocks at my door. I go to check out who was it at this hour of the day.

" Shanaya baby! Hello there!" Said Jenny as she grinded her hips playfully into mine.

"Jenny my love! Where have yoy been? I missed you so much!" I said I kissed her on cheeks as we sat down on my bed. "And Shanaya"

"Ya Jenny?" "The dress's pretty but you look like shit".

Oh. I realize something. I haven't changed since yesterday. I look myself in the mirror. Mascara and eyeliner were forming lines from the tears last night. Eye liner was smudged and my bra was out of my place. I quickly fixed myself .

"And my best friend?"

"Yes Shanaya?"

"Who dropped you here because you cannot drive and your chaffueur is on leave."

"Someone did Shanaya" she winked and further said,

"Oops! I forgot he is waiting outside. I gotta rush Shanaya"

"Me too!" I screamed wih enthusiasm.

When we reach the parking lot of my mansion, I see a black ferrari parked there. We walked there and someone exits the car,hugging Jenny.

Nice boyfriend! I thought to myself. When I see the guy, the same pair if eyes. He was Jenny's boyfriend? Bastarsd!

"Shanaya meet my brother Shubham,he just finished his degree and came from India." Said Jenny.

Anger raged through me as I controlled myself and turned in my heels. Not caring if it would hurt my best friend Jenny. I went inside my house and slammed the door.

My phone rings. I see Jenny's number.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Hello shanaya, what happened? Why did ya just leave?  Asked Jenny,concerned filled in her voice.

" I don't think we should be friends anymore Jenny, goodbye" I barked as I called off Jenny's voice and threw my phone against the hard wall.

"GREAT!" I said.