And then she said it!

PART 7

DREAMS VS. HAPPINESS.
The next day was usual, yet unusual.
Usual- as it was just another day
where mom went to college,
Riddhima stayed back at home as she
had a trimester break, Rahul and I
were lazing around in our room.
Unusual- because of the way I had
been observing Riddhima. Not as a
paying guest or mom's friend but as
a probable woman to be in my life,
as a woman to share my life with.
And I am telling you, my readers,
that's weird. Especially when that
girl was not aware of what had been
conspiring around her.
Yes, you heard me right. Riddhima
was not aware of the match making
that mom, along with her new
partner Rahul, had plotted. Mom told
me that Riddhima would be
approached with the matter only if I
agree to go ahead with the proposal.
And trying to arrive at a conclusion
about marrying someone is tricky
especially when that someone is
quite an introvert.
I do believe in arranged marriages,
especially after I had seen two
beautiful couples. One- my parents
and two- Shashank uncle and Padma
aunty. So I wasn't against the fact
with mom or aunty choosing a girl for
me. Now that I had rejected one with
Sanjana, who appears to be close to
the woman of my dreams, I just
needed a strong innuendo to
consider Riddhima.
I tried to pick up some hints which
would be obvious from her behavior
about her feelings towards me;
whether she likes me or admires me
or just respects me. But there were
absolutely none. I mean, as per
mom's and Rahul's theory my
behavior towards her had been
obvious to them, so I was just waiting
for one such hint from her. I was
amused at how much self control this
girl had. Not even once had there
been an action of hers that she
would be inclined towards me.
I didn't even have an idea why I had
been pondering about the proposal
rather than shelving it, when my
probable partner wasn't even
interested in me. Except for the fact
that she had trust in me, there was
nothing else. I tried weighing that
factor of trust, but then she also
trusts mom, Muski, aunty, uncle and I
guess Rahul too.
So instead of gauging her feelings, I
tried introspecting mine. It's true
that I feel concerned for her. But as
per me, that wasn't strong enough to
build our world together. I tried
examining myself if I was physically
attracted to her. But there weren't
many incidents that I had gotten
into close proximity with her. Except
for my dazedness when I found her
in a saree, there hadn't been any.
But then she was pretty that day.
Any guy would admire her the way I
did, even Rahul was baffled at her
beauty. Then immediately popped in
the thought that I had found myself
checking her out a couple of times.
But then, it was usual. I do check
the other girls out.
That brought me to a dead lock.
A soft knock at the door relieved me
of my preoccupation.
"Wow Armaan, who cares to knock on
your door before entering?" Rahul
mocked at me, without averting his
gaze from the play station monitor.
While I was immersed in self-
examination, Rahul had been happy
like a monkey who caught a coco-nut
at having PS all to himself.
"Shut up!" I snapped at him. "The
door is open Riddhima." I called out
for her. She was the only one who
cares to knock my door. And by now,
I was used to it.
"Can't you tell me it's her?" Rahul
whispered and immediately sat
straight, putting on his T-shirt while
it was my turn grinning at him.
Somewhere my mind already started
imagining her reaction had she seen
him half naked. Since I came back, I
made it a point to put on a shirt
while roaming around at home, lest
she would be embarrassed.
"Are you free now?" Riddhima asked
me stepping in, while passing a
smile to both of us. She wore a loose
T-shirt and a Capri pant that I
couldn't help but notice somehow.
"Yeah Riddhima, sit down." I pointed
to the bean bag that lay aside as
Rahul and I were sitting on the
carpet on the floor. But she chose to
sit on the floor instead, facing me.
"Will you sign this for me?" She
asked, skeptically, putting forth few
papers. Rahul paused his game and
joined us.
"What are these?" I asked taking
them.
"Company mailed them and asked me
to mail the completed form back
immediately." She told hesitantly.
I went through the papers. They are
the documents asking about the
details of one dependant adult family
member or a guardian. That's
mandatory in the hiring process.
Ofcourse I am familiar with them, as
it was my and Rahul's team's work at
the company to recheck the
documents mailed by the students.
But then that wasn't the point of
concern. Why was she asking me to
sign them?
"Did you ask mom about this?" I
asked her, while Rahul took the
papers from me to read.
"I didn't call aunty yet. She would be
late in the evening. But the company
wants me to mail them back by 4 in
the evening. So I thought to ask you
if you would do it. Else I'll try
reaching my recruiter requesting for
some more time." She uttered her
voice low.
"But Riddhima, I don't think I can
sign this." I said handing back her
papers and her face fell, turning
slightly pale.
"Oh! That's fine." She mumbled,
putting on a straight face, but I knew
she was hurt. It was weird the way I
could read her eyes sometimes.
I stared at her as she retreated from
my room, closing the door behind
her. I looked at Rahul. He, which I
understood by the look on his face,
and I remembered the same scene;
him being in the same position two
years back. He was so disturbed with
that fact that he didn't even sleep
peacefully for few days. He hesitated
to even ask mom to sign it for him.
But since I had received the same
documents along with him, I got
them signed it for him. That
particular memory was still fresh in
my mind. That day he broke down in
mom's arms when she signed it for
him, as his guardian. It might
appear as just a sign, but for Rahul,
it had been everything.
That memory pricked my heart. I
shouldn't have refused it for her. I
was confirmed of that thought when I
looked back at Rahul. He gave me a
mean look and went back to playing
his game. Shit! In an impulse, I
messed up with her sensitive
emotions. The way I behave with her
is so imbalanced. Sometimes I am
very much concerned with her
feelings and sometimes, I don't even
think twice in hurting her,
consciously or unconsciously.
Amidst my regret, another piece of
information caught my attention. But
then she approached me without any
interference from mom. It wasn't
anything legal. And moreover, she
could have asked aunty, uncle or
even Rahul, which she didn't. That
does mean something, which I had to
decipher. But before that I had to do
something else.
"Rahul, I'll be back in a minute." I
told him, got to my feet and ran out
of the room, you -my readers- know
where.
The door of her room was slightly
open. So I didn't care to knock. She
lay on her stomach, across the bed,
her face buried into a pillow. The
documents were sprawled beside
her. Her laptop was switched on.
"Riddhima" I called out for her. She
sprung back immediately and sat
straight, adjusting her T-shirt. I
couldn't help my smile at her
consciousness. She collected the
papers in haste and threw them
aside on the table. She sat on the
bed, crossing her legs Indian style,
as I stood beside her bed.
"You need something? Lunch is ready
already." She told, her voice devoid
of any emotions. I also noticed her
moist eyes, which somehow stung me.
I took the papers from the table and
sat on the bed facing her. "Can I
sign these, now?" I asked.
"I called aunty. She said she would
try to come early. I will mail the
company requesting some mo-"
"That's not an answer Riddhima." I
cut her midway, looking at her
intently.
"You need not do that Armaan." She
whispered, her voice already
breaking, eyes downcast.
"What if I want to?" I wish I had
brought a pen with me. She looked
up at me, her eyes filled up, tears
ready to spill down. After a moment
of hesitation, she gave me a pen. I
filled in all my details and put forth
the papers. But she wasn't looking
at me. Her face was lowered and I
sensed her soft sniffs. "Riddhima" I
said softly.
"I-" She tried to speak, but couldn't.
"Thanks." She whispered after a
moment, looking at me as a lone tear
escaped her eye.
I looked at her helpless. The next
moment, I saw her slightly shaking. I
moved closer and she willingly came
to my arms as I gathered her close.
Just as Rahul broke down in mom's
embrace, she sobbed in mine. I
didn't speak anything. Neither did
she. I just kept rubbing her back
gently, trying to ease her sobs for I
knew; she just needed someone to
hold her. And I gave her just that.
She cried, cried and cried silently. I
felt my shirt getting damp just below
my shoulder. Holding her close, I felt
my eyes turning moist, my vision
slightly blurred.
How many such situations, had she
faced in her past? All alone? She still
kept going. And at once I realized,
she might be reserved around people
but she was hell strong a woman.
Atleast stronger than me. I wasn't
even able to deal with the loss of my
dad for a complete six months. And
here she was going through such
phase, or even worst, at each and
every step of her life. Suddenly I
could see her entirely different
persona; rather than being a shy,
nervous Riddhima, she was much
more. I understood why mom is so
fond of her, in a deeper sense.
"Are you fine Riddhima?" I whispered
into her ear softly. I felt the
movement of her head, as if nodding.
It made me smile. I just let her stay
in my embrace, with the silence
doing the work for us.
Now that she was more or less fine,
my mind drifted off to few out-of-the-
place thoughts of Riddhima. Not
emotionally but physically. And God,
she was so soft! I might not have
noticed it the other night when I
hugged her. But now I couldn't help
but think about it as that thought
popped up in my dirty brain. This
was the closest that I had gotten to
her, ofcourse when I am conscious of
it. And it felt good. Actually, more
than good to be precise, also taking
into account that I had been with a
couple of girls before. It was as if I
could feel her, completely. Testing
my luck, I tightened my hold and
pulled her in for a closer intimacy. I
didn't know what made me do that,
yet I just did that. And I also wanted
to do much more.
May be I could also kiss her? Just on
her cheek though, in the pretext of
making her feel good?
May be I was attracted to her? May
be-
"Armaan?" I heard her voice and
pulled my hands back, releasing her
of my hold instantly. She drew away
and looked everywhere but at me.
The first thought that came to my
mind was whether I had I been
thinking out loud. Did she come to
know what I had been thinking? "I
am fine." She murmured wiping her
cheeks off the tears, her face still
sober. "Thanks for signing them." She
added.
"Anytime Riddhima." I said, rather
cheekily. But she didn't seem to
notice.
"Hey guys, shall we go for lunch." It
was Rahul. He might have
understood her plight; he didn't
remark anything of her sullen face or
puffy eyes. I got up from the bed
and stood beside him. "I don't want
to die of hunger after living a
luxurious life." He added
dramatically.
And she smiled. Rahul had this
unique sense of spreading tranquility
around him, calming the people of
their intense emotions.
"We will wait for you downstairs.
Come fast." I said, thinking she
might require a moment for herself.
"You should have done that when
she asked you." Rahul said as a
matter of fact, while descending
stairs.
"I know."
"Then why didn't you?" He asked.
"To sign it later." I said with a
straight face. It took a moment for
him to grasp what I was doing. When
he did, he clutched my neck in his
hand and smacked my abs with the
other.
"Hey mom, where are you going?" I
asked mom as she was preparing to
leave somewhere along with
Riddhima. It was evening and mom
was back to home early. She gave me
an approving look when Rahul told
her that I had signed the
documents. Well yeah I was slightly
embarrassed!
"Just for a walk. We'll be back in an
hour." Mom replied wrapping a shawl
around her body while Riddhima put
on a woolen scarf. I looked at
Riddhima and she passed me a
smile, actually a very sweet one, to
which I couldn't help smiling back. It
was weird how such simple gestures
from her made me happy. I made a
mental note of this in my analysis
regarding mom's probable match.
"Can we come too?" Rahul butted in.
But mom didn't appear like she liked
the idea neither was I. I just want to
lay on the couch and sort my mind
out.
"No. Today's a day out for me and
Riddhima. Just us." Mom quipped
while Riddhima giggled and I
chuckled at a sulking Rahul. "Bye."
She added before leaving.
"Why are you in a foul mood?" I
asked him. By the look on his face I
knew something was bothering him.
"Nothing. Just got a call from Ankit."
He replied making a face. "He cut
down my leave by five days."
"Good. Then I guess you have to
leave the day after tomorrow." I said,
grinning, mentally counting the days.
"Yeah perfect for you too. Cause you have to accompany me." He added with a smirk. His words wiped that grin off
my face. We were just like school
children who would sulk at the
thought of getting back to school
after a vacation. In our case, even
our vacation was cut short.
"Why is that so? We were granted
leave." I whined.
"He said there was an additional
project assigned to our teams. So we
have to get back." He replied
switching on the TV.
"I will screw him. I'll better resign
immediately after that project." I
added, my mind already aiming
abuses at my manager. He gave me a
I-know-it look. Well, that was my
usual dialogue whenever I was
frustrated with Ankit. He and I knew
how much truth that statement of
mine holds.
"Then how will you feed yourself? By
begging?" He continued further
watching some sensuous song on the
channel.
"Oye Armaan Mallik doesn't beg. I'll
be showered with innumerable offers
from other companies." I gloated
proudly. "However Riddhima would
join the company by then. So her
salary would be enough to feed us
comfo-." I stopped midsentence,
aghast at what I had been speaking.
Rahul was no less. His mouth was
wide open as if he was about to say
something but fell short.
Where did Riddhima come from in
our conversation? What the hell had
I been thinking? I hadn't really made
up my mind regarding Riddhima.
Then how could I blurt something
like that? Could this mean
something? Well, I don't know. I was
sure of one thing though- my mind
was messed up.
"You-" Rahul opened his mouth to
say something but the ring of my
mobile saved me from further
embarrassment.
I looked at the number thanking that
person. It was mom.
"Yeah mom?" I spoke into the mobile
averting my gaze from Rahul.
"Armaan, this is Riddhima."
"Yes Riddhima." I said turning my
back to Rahul as I felt him gawking
at me.
"Armaan, we had a small accident
and-" My heart stopped beating
abruptly.
"Accident?" I asked making sure I
heard it right. Rahul sprung to his
feet instantly. "Which hospital?" I
grabbed the car keys while Rahul
took the house keys.
"Sanjeevani." My head already
started spinning with thoughts about
mom, as we ran to the parking lot
after locking the house. From her
voice I could sense that Riddhima
was fine.
"Are you okay?" I asked while Rahul
started the car anxiously.
"Yeah I am but-" I cut the call. I
didn't want to listen to that but. It
could mean only one thing which I
didn't want to face. This was my
weakness. I would rather ignore the
wrecked situation than face it. But
now, my brain wasn't working. It was
foggy.
Rahul hit my shoulder to yield an
answer out of me. His face was pale
as if he had seen a ghost, adding to
my agitated nerves. "Sanjeevani.
Drive fast." I mumbled, wiping my
face with my hands.
The beat of my heart was so loud I
actually felt I could hear to it. I
started sweating. My phone started
ringing again but I just stared at it
afraid to take the call. It was mom's
number.
"Armaan, take the call." Rahul
mumbled. But I just stared at it.
"Armaan-" He shouted irritated at my
lack of reaction. The car came to a
rough halt at the entrance of the
hospital and I jumped out of the car
throwing the mobile into Rahul's
hands. I ran into the hospital with
my heart hanging in my mouth.
"Mom?" I wondered if I went mad
when I found mom standing at the
reception talking to Shashank uncle.
"Oh Armaan, where are the reports?"
Mom asked me and her voice assured
me the fact that I wasn't
hallucinating.
"Rahul went to get them aunty."
Riddhima answered it for me. I just
stood staring at them agape, my
heart beating faster than
Schumacher's Ferrari. I turned to
look for Rahul but he wasn't there.
"Mom? Accident? Phone?" I tried to
form a sentence but in vain.
"Yeah, A small one. See I just got a
scratch on my elbow." Mom showed
the scratch which was bandaged. I
breathed out. It was then that I
realized I was holding my breath.
"What the hell? Couldn't you just
tell that in that damn call?" I
shouted, my fear slowly transforming
into anger. I kicked the stool that
was in my way and went and sat on
the chair in the corridor, holding my
head in my hands. There were few
moments of complete silence in the
corridor of the hospital. I could feel
the gaze of people on me. But I
didn't care. I just want to calm my
mind.
"Aunty, reports." I heard Rahul's
voice. I didn't care look up at them
to explain my behavior. My mind was
blank.
"Aunty is fine. Riddhima just called
you to ask you to get her reports."
Rahul said sitting beside me patting
my shoulder. "I'll get you a coffee."
He added and left.
I sat still, with my head in my hands,
staring at the floor. My mind still
stuck around the thoughts of
something happening to mom and
my heart still beating superfast. That
mere thought knocked breathe as
well as senses out of me. That fear of
losing mom gripped my heart so
tight that I felt dead few minutes
ago. This was the first time that I
came across something like this and
I didn't understand how to react to
it. I wanted to vent that feeling out
of my body, but how?
Tears? No. I wasn't that weak. May
be I am? I couldn't do that, atleast
not in public. Come on, my readers, I
am a guy. People around the
hospital would think that I am mad
if I sat and cried when mom was
absolutely fit. Moreover, it being
dad's hospital I was a known person
here.
"Armaan?" I heard Riddhima's voice
and blinked back the tears that
stung my eyes. I felt so vulnerable
which I didn't like. She stood infront
of me. I looked up at her and she
smiled at me. "Come with me." She
took my hand and guided me
towards the visitor's room.
She closed the door when we
stepped in. It was empty. I sat on
the chair. I wanted to be alone.
That's the reason Rahul left me
alone. He understood me well. But
then Riddhima didn't go out. She
walked towards me and stood infront
of me.
"Tears don't make a person weak.
They just show how much you care
for the person behind them." She
said softly looking straight into my
eyes. Ofcourse they don't, with
Riddhima being the prime example. I
stared at her surprised at her words,
fresh tears already forming in my
eyes. This was probably the first time
Rahul didn't understand me well.
Well, I thought he did initially but
now I know it was not true. Because
I just wanted someone to hold me. A
tear rolled down my cheek.
Riddhima took a step ahead and
hugged me as I buried my head in
her stomach, wrapping my arms
around her waist. I don't know what
she read in my eyes but she was
right. I desperately wanted to cry. I
felt her fingers in my hair. She
ruffled my hair just as mom used to
do. I relaxed against her and let the
tears flow out of my eyes.
When that inexplicable fear of losing
mom that grasped my senses slowly
faded in the form of tears, I realized
that it was not a mere physical
reaction that attracted me towards
Riddhima. It was much more. It was
this emotional quotient. With her
holding me, I felt good. I felt this
weird sense of protection in her
embrace, which I always felt in
mom's arms. I might not have
noticed it previously as I wasn't the
one seeking it before. Now that I was
at the receiving end, I realized it.
Somehow, I didn't want to let go of
it.
"Are you fine Armaan?" She asked me
after a few moments of silence and I
was immediately reminded of the
incident in the afternoon. This was
just the role reversal.
"I am fine." I mumbled moving back
from her embrace. I looked up at her
and she smiled at me. She didn't say
anything about my stupid breakdown
and I was thankful for that. "Thank
you." I added smiling.
"Anytime Armaan." She replied
giggling. I chuckled at that. She was
using my words back at me. I
thought she hadn't noticed that
cheeky dialogue of mine then but
she did. I stood infront of her not
averting my gaze from her. Soon, as I
had expected, she lowered her eyes
and stepped back. "I'll go and meet
aunty." She whispered before she
fled off from the room. I felt
strangely happy.
I stayed there staring into space,
that smile still etched on my face.
One more realization shook me.
Riddhima may not be the woman of
my dreams, but I am positively sure
that she can be the woman of my
happiness. Hell, I could already feel
that happening.
"Armaan, shall we leave? Are you
ready?" Rahul asked me entering the
room.
"Yes,I am ready." I replied my smile
only growing wider, my heart jumping
in mad joy and my mind finally at
peace.

So that's it! Sorry for not uploading yesterday.Please vote. Bye. -Isha