TOXIC | Jungkook

22

" y-you read that... uhh.. screw it, I love you y/n "

I would be lying if I say that I wasn't surprised by his straight forwardness.

" yeah I read that " I mumbled nonchalantly

" is that all you have to say? " he saddened, he licked his dry bottom lip before asking " was it a lie when you said that you love me ? " his doe eyes shined in the dim light as they started watering.

" I'm in all of this shit because of you how can you say that? " I blurted out and mentally slapped myself after I absorbed what sliped out of my mouth when he stared at me confused.

" what do you mean? "

Am I ready to tell him? Am I ready to make someone else tormented with his own thoughts and live with the guilt?

No, at least not him.

Jungkook won't forgive himself if he finds out that the last conversation I had with jimin was about him, how would he feel when he finds out that jimin suicided because he felt that I used him to approach his friend who's now standing in front of me trying to make us a thing.

I know we can't make this relationship work so why would I even start it. Sooner or later he will find out and sooner or later I will get arrested or even worse killed by the mafia.

" I loved you there is no lie in this "

" what's with the past tense ? How about now what changed? " he mumbled approaching me more.

" I still love you, but I can't trust you. I can't believe that you love me, I mean... why should I trust you when everyone betrayed me even my best friend "

" again with your trust issues " he rolled his eyes and took a deep breath " is everything I did was not enough? Tell me what should I do to make you trust me, turn myself in to the police and take the sentence for you? because believe me I can even do that for you "

I walked past him to the counter and stepped again toward him, he stared down at me as I handed him a knife I have taken from the counter.

He looked at his hand then me waiting for me to explain what was he supposed to do with the knife but he already knew it wasn't going to make him content.

I slid up my shirt's sleeve displaying my forearm and the 3 scars.

" if you love me then prove it "

His lips parted in shock as he realised what I meant but refused to believe it " y/n !.."

" c'mon you said you love me just a long pretty cut and I will believe you "

" are you serious now ? Why would I hurt you? " he took one step away he was scared of my sudden enigmatic request he didn't know what to expect from me anymore.

" because I want you to hurt me "

" but I don't want to hurt you " he scoffed shaking his head expecting me to say that I was joking but I stared at him with the most serious stares I could afford to make it clear that I was not joking, he gulped immediately when he noticed.

" so you can't even do this for me " I tilted my head staring at him with a pout " I guess jimin is the only one who loved me "

" that's not how people show their love "

" that's my way. for me I will always live with the scars that jimin left, unless you are ready to hide them don't try to say that you love me again " I stared deep in his eyes, close enough to feel his warm breath on my skin.