Chapter Fourteen
Over the next few days dad stayed gone. That was fine with both mom and me. We both actually laughed together a few times. I took advantage of him being gone and went through everything he had laying around I search of something I could use to carry on me in case he tried anything again. When I started going through his tools I found all kinds of short screwdrivers. I thought about taking one of them. I could stab him with it if I needed to, but it was hard to hide one in my pocket. Then I found a box cutter. That fit perfectly, so I took that. Now I was prepared if he beat on me again. And if he did, he wouldn't be given a chance to take it from me like he did my knife.
Mom took a day off of work so she could take me school shopping. We actually had a fun day doing it too. It reminded me of that one birthday of mine. That was one of the best days we shared together. As we were shopping she and I actually joked around and laughed. We bought some jeans, shirts, shoes, and a new book bag. Then we stopped to get some lunch and we actually talked. She said she missed it just being her and me. She also said she was sorry that our being with dad again was becoming the same way it used to be in the past. She just wanted us to be a family again. I told her I understood, even though I really didn't understand at all. Then she changed the subject so we would not get depressed since it had been such a happy day so far.
When we got back home she had me put on each outfit and show her how they all looked. It was a mini fashion show. We had picked up pizza on the way home for supper, so after trying on the clothes we found a movie on TV and pigged out on pizza, popcorn and soda while we watched it. Today was going to be another one of those all too rare perfect days that would forever stay with me.
We stayed up so late that mom fell asleep on the couch. I took a throw blanket and put it on her. She looked so different. All the other times I'd seen her she sort of scared me and all I could see when I looked at her was someone else that hated me. But as she laid there asleep she looked so small and fragile. I could not believe she was able to be so mean sometimes. I also couldn't believe she had been beaten on so many times without breaking into a million pieces. It was almost as if I were looking at two different people at the same time all inside the same person. How could she be so different? How could she go from being the loving mom she was today, to someone so mean, angry and hateful the next? I didn't know the answers to these questions, but I did know that today was a great day and I was thankful for it. I made sure the cover was on her good, kissed her on the cheek and went to bed.
I woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon cooking. It made my mouth water. When I went into the kitchen mom was there and she smiled really big and said she made pancakes too. We sat down and I ate so much I thought I was going to pop. She told me she was going to have to work that evening, but there was plenty of left over pizza in the fridge I could eat for supper. Then she asked me to please be home by dark so she wouldn't worry. I promised her I would. Then before I went out to play she gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. Then she told me the words I had rarely heard my whole life. She said I love you. I think I hugged her back so tightly I could almost hear her bones pop.
That day in the woods were spent being the happiest I had been in what seemed like forever. Even the birds and the squirrles seemed to be happier right along with me. They chirped and sang more today than I ever noticed them do before. I think I wore a smile the entire day. I wanted it all to stay like this for the rest of my life. This is how it should be for everyone. Today I didnt have a care in the world, or a worry in any of my thoughts. I was just completely happy and at ease.
I kept my promise to mom and got home before dark. When I opened the door to go inside I noticed that the house had been trashed. My heart sank. Dad must be back again. I slowly and quietly walked from room to room. I was expecting him to jump out at me at any moment. But all I found was the mess he left, and some of his stuff gone. I was too scared to eat, so I just went on to bed. I started dozing off to the sound of rain pouring down, loud claps of thunder and bright flashes of lightning. And as I drifted off I hoped with all I had that this meant he was gone forever now. I also fell asleep with my hand under my pillow grasping the box cutter just in case he wasn't.
