Family? (Adopted Tommyinnit)

Its all just fuzzy

Warnings: MENTIONED ABUSE (also warning it's Tommy POV so it's normalized? Like he thinks it's normal and okay. (It is obvi not) but he thinks it is), flashbacks, mentioned cheating, mentioned panic attacks, mentioned starving, not believing you have trauma (tell me if I missed any)

Also please tell me if you noticed any grammar or spelling mistakes so I can fix them. In any chapter.

Hiii sorry I haven't updated in forever life got crazy and I started another Sbi story as well on Ao3 maybe if enough of you want it I can put my Ao3 account name on here and wattpad  account name on Ao3 so you can find both of them? Idk

Anyways I hope this long chapter makes up for my absence :( I'm really sorry
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Tommy Pov
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"So are you comfortable talking about at least some of your trauma...?" Trauma..? Why'd she use the word trauma? I'm not traumatized..Am I? "Tommy?" "Hm?" Looking up at her, I noticed she had a reassuring look on her face. "Sorry...um I guess we can, but what's my trauma? I mean I'm not traumatized." Puffy stared at me like I had just said the craziest thing ever. "Tommy..we haven't even finished your first appointment and you've already had two different forms of attacks..Which doesn't make you weak or anything if you're thinking that. But it does mean you have most likely been traumatized by something serious."  That couldn't be true could it? I mean I'm perfectly fine...what would I even have trauma from? "Um I don't know what you mean..I mean attacks aren't that big of a deal are they?" Puffy sighed. "Tommy, you have trauma and that's not your fault but you can't deny it." Frowning, I nodded, deciding to just listen to her. "So what is my trauma?" I don't really understand what she means by my trauma.

I mean everyone always said I was just faking it when I had my attacks so wouldn't that mean my trauma is fake too? Puffy frowned and seemed to think of something to say. "I don't know what your trauma is cause I haven't lived your life. But how about we start with why you were scared of my room with the door closed." Oh...That wasn't from trauma right..? "Um well I'm scared of small spaces I guess?" Puffy smiled softly at me. "Oh Tommy, I meant do you remember what caused you to be afraid of small spaces?" Oh well when she words it like that it makes a lot more sense. "Well um...it's really fuzzy.." Puffy's face twisted in confusion. "Fuzzy? Fuzzy how?" I shrugged. "Like it's blurry...I don't really remember it." Puffy frowned at me. "Oh so you're most likely not processing your trauma until you feel fully safe. This is normal though so don't be worried or upset."

I nodded. I didn't exactly understand what she meant but I think I trust her...at least a bit. "Why do I start processing it after I'm safe....?" Puffy laughed sadly. "I don't know, that's just how our minds work. It sucks but we have to process our trauma eventually." The way she worded that was slightly confusing. I wonder if she meant to say we. I don't think I can actually ask her if she has trauma that seems rude. I mean maybe they would be ok with me asking since she's a therapist but I don't really know. I probably shouldn't. I mean I don't like talking about my trauma...(I don't like that word)...so she probably doesn't like to either. But then again she is a therapist so maybe she's okay with talking about it. I wonder why the others go to therapy. Is it normal to wonder why people go to therapy? It's probably not.. Welp.

They'd probably stop their nice act if I ever asked them.. I would if they lied when they said they'd never hurt me. I wonder when they'll put their foot down. How would they go about hurting me? Maybe like house 2 with words? Or like house 4 with beatings. He remembers both in a way. The memories are kinda fuzzy but still clear?

"Tommy god you're such a disappointment. If I wasn't such an amazing person then you wouldn't have a home. Why can't you do anything correctly!!" Sally– was that her name? I don't really remember everything is fuzzy.... She was a really great sibling besides the mean insults. I mean she even remembered to feed me occasionally. Her mother and father weren't around much and so they adopted me to give her company. She seemed to like me for a while but then I messed up really badly. I got too close to her boyfriend? at the time and invited him over one time, how was I supposed to know she was upstairs with another boy? She wasn't very happy with me after that but then again I shouldn't have gotten close to him.

I miss Sally...I think that's her name...I miss her a lot. I wish I hadn't been such a disappointment and that she would have kept me. She was definitely one of the nicest ones. I wonder how she would react if she saw me now. She probably would be disappointed that I'm letting myself be so open with this family. She definitely would be upset that I was weak enough to get hurt by foster parents. House 4 would have told her that I deserved it though.

The punch to my gut left me out of breath on the ground. They didn't seem to care much though since they punched and kicked me until I was bleeding. I deserved it, I mean every parent gives their kid discipline right? I also remember when Ms. ——— grabbed a piece of glass and stabbed it into my leg, after I broke one of her special glass cups. She made me keep the piece of glass in my leg until the injury was swollen and my leg was hard to move. She was very good at getting me to understand what I did. Ms. and Sir hurt me a lot but they had good reasons to. When I failed a test or talked back or even tried to eat. They were always good about reminding me of the rules. While I love knowing the rules and punishments, I don't really miss them all too much. I mean they were always a bit controlling.

"Tommy." Looking up at Puffy, I realized I had zoned out again. "Oh I'm sorry I didn't mean to..." They smiled softly at me. "It's okay but do you think you could tell me what you were thinking about?" I mean I guess it wouldn't hurt if I let her know, especially since it's all I can remember at the moment. So I started to tell her about what I was thinking about hoping she wouldn't judge me too badly. "Oh um Tommy can I ask you a question about what you just said?" I shrugged. I didn't really care if she asked a question. "Okay...Do you think they were in the right about hurting you and belittling you?" She asked softly. What kind of question was that? I mean obviously they were right? "Yes they were." She seemed to sadden at that before sighing and writing something down in her notebook. "Well as much as I feel we need to talk about that, our time is up so we're going to have to pick up next time....that is if you feel up to coming back." I have a choice about if I want to come back or not? "I think I want to..." Puffy seemed to brighten at that almost like me coming back was the best news ever. "That's great Tommy. We'll have days where we talk about trauma and then other days we'll do fun stuff." We were gonna do fun things? I wonder what that will be like. "What fun things?"

She smiled at me. "Well we could draw, play games, knit, sew, watch movies, eat, or anything else you want to do really. It's just supposed to make you feel better. Then of course there'd be some days where we will go over safe trauma responses but besides that it's really up to you" Those actually sounded kinda fun. Maybe she could knit me a cow or teach me how to knit one. I can't wait for one of the fun days. I smiled slightly at her. She smiled back at me before slowly standing up. "Well Phil is probably here ready to pick you up or one of the boys. So are you ready to go?" Nodding, I followed her out of the office and back into the big room where I last saw Wilbur and Phil. I noticed Techno sitting in a chair and ran over to him. Puffy was following behind me, I guess to speak to him? Techno looked up at me and smiled. "Hey Tommy. How was therapy?" I shrugged and looked at Puffy. Puffy smiled slightly at me. "I think it went okay but Tommy should probably rest  since he had ..2 or 3 attacks in there." Techno's eyes widened and he touched my shoulder. "Are you okay?" "I'm fine, Techno, but can we go home..I am kinda tired." I didn't notice I called it home but Techno must have because his smile returned. "Yeah let's go home Tommy" I waved bye to Puffy before following Techno out to the car.