September 13, 2021
00:44
When I went to the lake two weekends ago, there was a moment late on Saturday night where myself, Riley, and his family were all outside singing, dancing, and listening to music together. I keep replaying that moment in my head. There was such an intense feeling of belonging—I felt free. I knew I was accepted by all of them, just as they were accepted by me. I could be completely myself and have fun.
And I swear, being there in the dark, surrounded by nature and the warm air on the last few days of summer was paradise. The cicadas were loud, but our music was louder. It was the sound of authenticity, soul, and community. The sound of people relating to one another and loving one another without worry and without fear of judgement. That moment has consumed my thoughts this past week, and when "American Pie" shows up in my queue on Spotify, I can't help but daydream. I relive it all listening to that song.
I see myself leaning into my partner and looking out at the field that leads to the narrow waters of Rough River Lake, a White Claw in hand and content in my heart. I look over and see Dean and Jack drunkenly (but merrily) singing along, then I turn my head in the opposite direction and see Marianne, Amelia, the two Janes, Alexa, Catherine, Leon, Piper, and even Sean singing too. I hear Riley's voice harmonizing with my own, his smoothness overlapping my range (neither very good, but it doesn't matter), our heads resting together and vibrating with the noise.
I remember thinking then how romantic that scene was, and how, if my life was a movie, this would be one of my favorite parts.
How many people can say they have relationships as good as these? A little over a year ago, I couldn't have. I would have killed for this, and now I just... have them. Own them, even. They came about without a plan, and without certainty, and I'm so glad they did.
All of it feels right. I never want to experience life without a family like this ever again.
I miss them right now. My whole family—mine and Riley's. More so, I miss the creation of all those memories when I'm away from the people I love. It's funny how you can always tell when a memory will last. I wish I could record those memories as videos, and play them back in some sort of virtual reality.
But for now, all I can do is dream. That is, until our next adventure.
YOU ARE READING
The Little Things
Non-FictionMoments in time I've recorded in a journal, then translated here into text. Sharing some stories of mine that I think deserve telling. These entries will remain almost exact copies of my journal entries, the only difference is editing. I will not be...
