What It Is (Harry Styles AU)

Eight (What she wants)

Eight (What she wants)

How strange and lovely it is to be anything at all. – John Green

Another sleepless night. I thought that after an amazing day spent with Harry and because I got to know him and feel his lips on mine, I’d come home and have a peaceful, full night of sleep. But I couldn’t be more wrong, because Paz had other plans.

As I make my way to the kitchen to get some breakfast and hear her and her ‘partner’ giggling I can’t help but roll my eyes. It’s not enough that they were so loud that it kept me up all night, but now they’re in great moods which sucks for me to see when I’m in such a terrible one.

“Good morning, Lara. Did you have a good night of sleep?” She asks smiling widely at me from her place on top of the counter where the guy in standing between her legs.

Is she trying to get herself killed? Because right now I wouldn’t think twice about doing just that.

“’Morning,” I simply reply, not having enough energy to say much else.

“Lara, this is Ryan,” she tells me pointing to the guy.

“Yeah, I know. I’m pretty sure the whole apartment complex knows after last night,” I state flatly as I drink a glass full of milk on one go.

“Oops, sorry. I hope we didn’t keep you up.”

That’s exactly what you did.

“Its fine, I’m used to it,” I partially lie.

Yes, I’m used to it, but it doesn’t make it fine.

“Ryan, this is my best friend, Lara,” She introduces me to him, disregarding my previous comment.

“Nice to meet you,” He states and smoothly extends his right hand for me to shake on. “Sorry for the noise by the way.”

I pretend not to see his hand, because honestly I know where it’s been and I do not want to have to touch it. “It’s alright, you were actually pretty quiet. It’s not your fault Paz is a screamer.”

They both giggle and then forget all about me and start a full on make out session in the middle of the kitchen.

Just what I needed to see today.

I give up on trying to get breakfast and go back into my room, deciding to text Luke just before getting dressed for work.

Lara: Hey:) Hope your weekend worked out. You never called or text and I didn’t either ‘cause I thought you might be busy and I didn’t wanna bother you. I can’t wait to hear all about it; so please call or text soon.

 

Truth be told I’m a little upset over the fact that my best friend just forgot about me for a whole weekend. I know this was a big weekend for him and he was probably very busy trying to impress Rose’s parents, but that’s no excuse, he could’ve wasted a few minutes to talk to me. I could be the busiest person in the world and I’m sure even then I wouldn’t forget about him.

But Luke is Luke and for him it’s easier to let go of things. For me it’s the exact opposite. I have the hardest time letting go of what I’m feeling, that’s why even now I still can’t let go of my anger towards my family and why I still can’t forgive them and probably will never be able to.