TikTok Drafts

Pain

I never understood it.
Watching the people walk down the halls, their faces bright with a wide smile.
Why can't that be me?
Why can't I feel the way that they feel when their faces stretch wide, their laugh echoing across the walls as they walk past me.
The tight pain in my chest helps me walk away quicker, the forever sadness making its way through the cracks once again.
Why can't after everything, after everything I have, why can't I be happy?
even the sound of papers flipping as I do my homework, the teacher talking at the front of the classroom, the distant sound of the tv in my room, why won't an inch of happiness creak through?
why do the thoughts start to pool in once I get a moment alone, why can't I relax, why do I busy myself with the fake smile everyday, the fake personality I put on for everyone.
But the real me is exhausting, the sadness so pure it kills every inch of my soul, tearing me into pieces.
no one will understand, no one can, not with the emptiness I feel, not with the thick gloom that rains over my head.
I just hope one day, I can finally be at peace, that I can finally rest..