never realy alone (shinkamie story)

chapter 1 new nervous

⚠️ trigger warning : self harm.⚠️

shinso pov 

So today I am joining a new class... it's class 1a. I am kinda nervous because we are already halfway through the year. So everybody has already made friends. I do already know somebody, I know Jirou and Momo because jirou and I are in a band together and Momo is dating Jirou. I also know Jirou is in the bakusquad and I have seen them before. but I have never really talked to them. so yeah hopefully it will go okay...

''Shinso can you come to help me set the table for breakfast"... o god it's Monama. This is also my last day in the 1b dorm, but I didn't tell anybody that. The one and the only person I will miss is Kendo because she was always there to slap the living shit out of Monama when he was being rude or invasive.

later in class 1a

Aizawa: "Hello, today we will have a new student in our class. You already know him from the sports festival. His name is Hitoshi Shinso. He will be in our class from now on because of unfortunate reasons Mineta switch classes.

The class stayed silent as Shinso walks in. Oh god, I don't want to make friends is all I can think. I hear Aizawa tell me to introduce myself. Okay here goes nothing." Hello my name is Shinso, my quirk is brainwash. And I am here to become a hero not to make friends". After that it stayed silent. Oh god, I blew it nobody will like me they will all think I am a creep or a weirdo. Then all of a sudden a little lightning bolt boy stands up and says:" Hello Shinso. Welcome to class 1a, you said you are not here to make friends but I hope we can become friends". After that, he just stands there holding my eye contact. He has really pretty golden eyes, it's almost like they're glowing. After what feels like eternity Aizawa calls my name." Shinso, you can take a seat behind Midoria and in front of Momo". Okay great, I already know Momo, and I also know Midoria because I had to fight him at the sports festival. This could have been worse. After all our classes were over I went to my locker to take out all my stuff for the dorms. But when I close my locker there stands the lightning bolt boy and again I was memorised by his eyes. He was talking to me but I didn't hear a single word he said. Then he waved his hands in my face and I snapped back to reality. He said :" Hi I am Denki Kaminari". I responded with: "uh-huh..... yeahhh...uhhhhh.". He said:" I think you want to say hi I am Shinso". I just nodded my head. He giggled and that gave me feelings I never knew I had. He was really cute... wait I can't be thinking like this. I said I didn't want to make friends. I can't make friends because I will just brainwash them again and I will be the villain again, I will hurt somebody if I make friends. Denki continues talking to me he asked me what dorm I was in. I was hesitant to answer but eventually told him I was in dorm 6. After I said the number 6 his eyes started to glow even more. " OMG I am in number 5": he squealed excitedly. " I will help you with your stuff oke". Again I just nod my head. I didn't understand why he was so overly happy. There was nothing wrong with it, but I just made myself question why he wanted to hang with somebody like me. I quietly grabbed my stuff and put it in our bags. We walked to the dorms, I was quiet all the time and Denki just tried to talk to me. He told me about all sorts of stuff, I honestly didn't hate listening to him. When we walked into the dorms everybody was already chilling and doing stuff for themself and when I looked at my watch I realised it took us an hour to get from school to the dorms. Denki showed me the way to my dorm and help me put my stuff away. We "talked" for a minut{ mostly him talking to me about little things in the dorm}, and then he left.

 I closed the door and as soon as I sat down on my bed I felt warm tears stream down my face. It's not that I was sad I just felt numb again. I grabbed my little box from the side of my bed and took out the pictures. The were pictures of me, my mom, my dad and my little sister (my biological family ). But seeing these pictures just made me feel more empty. I take out the razor blades, I look at them and all I want to do is numb my pain. But just before the blade hits my skin I hear a knock at my door. It's Denki, he told me dinner was ready and that I should hurry so we could sit together. I put on a big hoodie and put the blade and pictures back in the box. I open my door and see the lighting boy standing so close to the door that if I took 1 step I would bump into him. He quickly grabs my hand and pulls me towards the diner table. We eat diner with the whole class, there all loud but I do forget my feelings for a bit. Bakugou and Kirishima cooked food and it tasted awesome.

For a second I feel like I am happy...