Finding You, Looking for Me: A Henry Cavill FanFic

Part 29: Sometimes All You Need is a Good Shower to Clear Your Head

I awoke slowly, the room still dark. It mustn't have been morning yet, though hours disappeared without a thought.

Henry's body was warm, heavy, and tangled up in my own. An arm across my belly, a leg draped over my own—Henry snored quietly beside me. The sound was so comforting.

This is where I realized that this story has become muddled—almost fairytale-like. You see, It's because I was caught in his spell. Everything that this man did was a revelation to me—including every touch and every look he ever gave me. I was isolated from my friends and family and from reality—always in bated breath. Despite my best efforts, I had lost myself completely. My career was a distant memory, my family was continuing on their traditions, and Henry's career was advancing—all while I seemingly stood still.

I understood that life had dealt me a shit hand here and there. Losing Oliver was devastating—and it would be understandable to never recover from that loss.  I had fallen into a deep depression that had gone on for months. The incident with the paparazzi and Ben had exacerbated that depression, and the subsequent hiding from paparazzi just furthered my isolation and made everything worse.

But now, as I lied there in the dark, thinking about my place in the universe and my place within Henry's life—I began to feel that I was no longer all of the things that he was attracted to that first week in LA. While I was physically the same woman—possibly in better shape, honestly—the independence and the command that I had over my life and my surroundings seemed to be diminished. I was not all the things I was proud of being when I bravely asked him to dinner within moments of meeting him. I did that because I knew that when he would get to know me—he was absolutely going to love me. The person I was that day, tangled up in the limbs of the most beautiful man on earth, sweat clinging to me from our hours of lovemaking, was no longer confident, no longer abreast of the world around me, no longer determined to improve the lives of others. I had become a woman living solely for the purpose of being in his presence—and ultimately at his service.

I carefully unwound myself from him and pulled myself out of bed and to my feet. Nude and In the dark, I leaned over and kissed his lips, finding them by a small sliver of light that shined through the curtains from a nearby house light.

I made my way to the shower and ran the hot water before sliding in. The water rained on me from above, and I stood there with my eyes closed and my mind racing.

I had been lonely and unbothered by my solitude, focused only on my family, my career, and my physical fitness. When he swept into town, I was able to focus on my need for love and physical affection. I wanted to feel beautiful and desired—and like a woman, not just a mother or a therapist. Henry made me feel all of those things to a degree I never thought was possible. It was europhic.

And perhaps I had grown addicted to that feeling. I would do anything to feel that way all the time.

Through the fogged shower glass, I saw Henry's large, naked frame make his way into the bathroom.

"Can I join you?" He asked me, as he finished up peeing in the toilet. He peered into the mirror and fluffed his hair.

As I had done on our first afternoon together, I peered out from around the side of the glass and smiled at him. "Of course."

He slid into the shower beside me, though this time, I made it no secret that I was watching his beautiful body move closer to me.

"You are looking at me like I'm a roast," he laughed. I laughed with him.

"You're fucking hot, what can I say?" I said, giggling. "Even after all this time, I love looking at you."

He nodded, seemingly happy with my response and himself. I wrapped my arms around him and laid kisses on his chest. I saw him tuck his chin into his chest to watch me trail kisses across him, a small smile on his lips.

"Are you okay?" He asked me softly. I looked up at his face, he looked concerned, but remained happy.

"Yes," I said, nodding. "I've had a moment of clarity...I think," I told him, burying my nose in his chest hair.

"You think?" He asked, wrapping his arms around me tightly. The hot water rained down on both of us.

"I just realized how wonderful you really are," I said into his chest. "I've been losing sight of myself, and you've been holding on to me despite it all. Now I need to regroup."

He nodded. I don't know if he understood, but he didn't say anything. And as he had done since we first became a couple, he supported me through my ups and downs. The fear I had of losing him needed to be put aside. If I had any hope of continuing this relationship in a healthy and fulfilling way—I had to continue to take care of myself. This meant that I needed to focus on the things that made me happy in life—not only being Henry's girl.

I kissed his chest again. His hands moved from being clasped at my waist to cupping both cheeks of my ass, gently kneading me. He kissed my forehead.

"I'm never going to leave you. We are going to be married, Sarah. I know you—in your fiber. You're all I've ever wanted."

Those words flowed warm over my body. I smiled into his chest and teared up a bit. He leaned down and kissed my neck, gently, and then harder—eliciting the load moan that he was surely looking for. I felt him smile against my skin.

"I love that sound," he whispered, squeezing my ass, and grazing my neck with his teeth.

I opened my eyes widely, and looked up at him. He had a small smirk on his gorgeous mouth. I returned the smile.

I stretched onto my toes and presented my lips to kiss him. He briefly chewed on his lower lip, making me wait a moment, before he plunged his tongue into my mouth and began moving my body towards the tiled wall. I kissed him ferociously, feeling energized by my newfound clarity. He hoisted me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist, and my arms around his neck.

"I love you," I breathed into our kisses. At the sound of my words, he plunged himself into me. I cried out.

"I need you," he breathed as he moved in and out of me. "I'll always need you," he said, increasing his pace.

I tightly closed my eyes, feeling him inside me as if it were the first time again. I moaned and whined, while he drilled into me harder. I felt like he was going to put me through the wall. And It felt so fucking good.

"Oh my god, Henry," I whined as he continued to push me further.

"You like this?" he whispered through gritted teeth.

"Yes!" I shouted, my arms hooked over his shoulders while he furiously pounded into me.

"Ready?" he asked me.

"My god, Henry..." I whined. My orgasm erupted. It was as if we hadn't just made love a few hours ago—as if this was the first time he had ever laid his hands on me. 

He continued to move, gripping me harder, finally emptying himself into me with a yell, and slowly coming to a halt, still inside me.

I opened my eyes, seeing stars. I hadn't realized how hard I had been clenching them shut. His mouth was open, and settled on my shoulder, while he panted from our exertions.

"My god, Henry," I repeated, in a whisper. "Look at what you do to me," I whispered. All the while, the hot water continued to rain down on us. We began to loosen our grip on one another, allowing me to slide my legs back to a standing position. He pressed his forehead to mine and we stood in the stream of the shower, both trying to catch our breath.