Jeordie and I stand outside on the deck and look up at the sky silently that night. He stands in front of me while I stand behind him, my arms wrapped around his waist. I wish he'd stop acting like he's going to die, because he won't. I've conviced myself that he won't. He said it was only stage II cancer. He can get through that. The treatments will work. I just have to keep telling myself these things or I'll freak out and have the same mindset as Jeordie; that he's going to die. Jeordie tilts his head back and looks at me, smiling. "Hi." He laughs. I peck him on the forehead. "Hello, my love interest." I say sarcastically. "Love interest?" He laughs again. "Mhm." I smile. Even simple moments like this cause me to fall deeper in love with Jeordie, if that's even possible by now. How is Jeordie staying so positive during this? I've been barely even attempting at staying happy ever since Jeordie told me he had cancer. Unless I'm around him. I have to stay strong around him or he will freak out.
That's the way our relationship works. If one is upset, the other will be too. Maybe that's why I've actually been able to keep my cool around Jeordie. Seeing him happy makes me happy, even though the burning sorrow inside my heart won't go away. I need to stop thinking about this.
"So do you have any ideas on what you want to do within these special two weeks?" I ask Jeordie, pulling him closer to me. I breathe in his familiar scent. "Well.." He pauses, "I know you won't like this but I want to vist my father." He finishes. His father? Of all people he wants to vist the one who caused the most harm in his life? I feel uneasy about the idea. "I know what you're thinking; that it is a horrible idea. But, uhm.." His chokes up randomly "if I die i want to at least see him before I do."
I don't reply for awhile. "I know you don't like it but it's what I want to do." Jeordie breaks the silence. I sigh and push my face against the top of Jeordies' head, "Okay." I mumble against his dreads. He smiles at my approval. "I think I'm going to go take a shower." Jeordie says and kisses me before running upstairs to the bathroom. Weird, but then again it's Jeordie.
I walk up to our room to look for a pen because I've thought of some lyrics for a new song. I search through the drawers of my end table but find no writing utensil, so I check Jeordies'. While searching in the second drawer I find the letter the doctor sent him about his cancer. Out of curiousity I read it. It couldn't hurt to know exactly what the doctor said, the letter might deliver more information to me than Jeordie.
"..diagnosed with Stage IIII cancer." I widen my eyes at the first sentence. Stage IIII cancer? Jeordie claimed it was only Stage II. Was I just hallucianting what he said to keep myself from breaking down? I read further into the letter.
"Unfortunately scientists have found no cure for Stage IIII lung cancer, meaning that we cannot help you in any way right now.." I cannot continue reading, my tears blur my vision. I hear the words repeat themselves in my head.
"No cure for Stage IIII lung cancer"
I'm losing my best friend.
I'm losing my lover.
I'm losing my mind.
tbh idk if there is a cure for stage IIII lung cancer or not but this is a fictional story so bye
sry for making you all sad omg im even saddened by this
