When Brian arrives in the bus with all of us he brings me an envelope. Oh no. Nobody knows but last week I went to the doctor because of my breathing. My breathing wasn't easy. He did a check up and he told me he would send me the results in the mail since I was on tour. And now here are the results I'm not ready for. I open the envelope with unsteady hands. Expecting the worst but hoping for the best. My eyes gaze along the paper and tears start to form in my eyes when I'm finished reading it. Brian calls my name but he sounds so far away. "Br-Brian." I look at him with tear stained cheeks. How am I supposed to tell him this? This is so difficult. I take a few deep breaths before speaking. "Brian, I have lung cancer." He just sits there speechless staring at me with saddened eyes. "Very funny, now stop playing games." He responds, looking away from me. "This isn't a game, Brian."
"I know this isn't a fucking game, Jeordie." He raises his voice at me which he hasn't done in a long time, smashing the nearest object. I don't even look to see what it was. "Brian, calm down." My voice unintentionally imitates the same tone of a child speaking to his parents after he's been in trouble. I hate it.
"I'm sorry." I whimper quietly. Brian shakes his head and sighs. "How the fuck did you get lung cancer?!"
"It's quite obvious, Brian." I reply, cringing at my stupidity. And by stupidity I mean the fact that I've smoked way too much everyday. I need to start caring more.
I see Brian quickly wipe a tear off his cheek.
"What am I going to do?" I whisper, mostly to myself.
"You're going to be okay.. I'll help you quit..an-and everything will turn out well." Brian says, a hint of uncertainty in his voice.
"You don't know that. Everything could fall apart, and you know it!" I gasp between sobs.
Brian covers his face with his hands, sighing deeply. We no longer talk. He sits on the bed in front of me and I melt into him, sobbing loudly.
I fucked everything up,
again.
hi so yeah i was gone for 184839949 months but im back now and this twist was kinda horrible but anyway i will update asap
