Wilted Roses 🥀 A Modern AOT Fic

Chapter 8: "I was changing, socially, emotionally, and physically."

Sasha.

My test results came back worse today. My body feels weaker than normal. All day I couldn't do anything to pull myself out of bed. All I wanted to do was sleep, so sleep I did.

I could hear Krista and Ymir in the hall talking to each other. Well, more so Ymir comforting Krista. The poor girl was crying over something, though I'm not entirely sure what she was crying over.

I looked toward the window, watching as the rain dropped. It was calming, and it was really my only form of entertainment until the cable worked again. Jean had work to do, I wasn't sure where exactly Connie was, and I hadn't seen Niccolo in a few days. I was really missing him.. and the delicious food he always brought me.

After the other day, when Jean confronted me and told me his feelings, told me what he thought about everything, I've felt off. My heart hurt more than my head at the moment. Everything was so confusing, and I couldn't piece my own feelings together.

Even though that happened, Jean still texts me as he normally would to check on me. However, he's been claiming he's too busy to visit with me. I can understand why he's being this way, however it doesn't hurt any less.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard a knock on my door. The petite girl walked in, Krista. I forced a small smile, even when I saw her tear stained cheeks and puffy, red eyes. She was also wearing a medical mask now. That was a new thing introduced today.

"How are you feeling today, sweetie?" She asked me, her voice course, as she pulled out my chart and looked it over.

"The honest answer?" I asked, forcing a small laugh. However, she didn't seem to find that too amusing. She almost looked hurt by it. "Sorry, I've been sleeping most the day after the news. Other than that, I don't feel sick."

"Good. Sleeping is good. Feeling sick, not so much. Your body can't fight off sickness." She informed me, sounding a bit more strict than the normal Krista. "We have some new rules to go over." She informed me, sitting down in the chair beside my bed.

Great. More rules. I couldn't even do anything, what rules could she possibly have for me?

"Go for it." I told her with a sigh, trying to sit up, but feeling fatigued, I instead opted to lay down.

"Visitors have to wear a mask at all times. I know we let you guys get away with no masks for a while, but it's really for the best." She told me, her eyes narrowing as she watched my expression. I already knew this. The doctor told me earlier. "Next, visitors should wash their hands and arms, honestly they should just shower in general before coming to see you. Leukemia is nothing to joke about and your white blood cell count is getting lower. If you get sick, you may not be able to fight off the sickness."

I sighed, knowing this. I was just hoping some of the treatments they were trying would work..

"You start chemotherapy tomorrow." She told me, her voice somber. "Hopefully this works. And I'm sure you know all the possibilities when it comes to chemotherapy, or should I briefly go over them?"

Honestly, I was in a bit of shock. They had agreed less than a month ago that my situation wasn't too horrible and they wanted to wait to do chemo, so what changed? Apparently, my body changed. With my silence, she continued.

"With chemotherapy, you may lose your hair. Infection and sickness risk will be higher. You will continue to feel more tired, you will bruise easily, you may have loss of appetite, and may become more nauseous." She said with a small sigh escaping her.

"Loss of appetite, huh? Never with me. I'll show you.." I told her with a small smile on my lips. That was the only side effect I paid attention to. Mostly because I was scared of the others. I'd become weak, fragile. I would even lose my hair. I couldn't handle that big of a change. Everything was deteriorating so rapidly for me, socially, emotionally, and physically.

"I'm so tired.. can I please go to sleep?" I asked her after a moment, to which she nodded once.

"Let me take your vitals quick then I'll be back to check on you later." She told me. Within a few minutes, she did as she said and left the room.

I closed my eyes and let myself drift to sleep with the sound of rain pounding on the roof of the hospital. It was pleasant.

-

Niccolo.

When I finally made it to the hospital, everyone seemed to be in a panic. With the excessive rain, many had gotten into accidents so there was an influx of patients. I made my way to the receptionist, dripping wet still from the rain.

"Uh.. Sasha Braus, is she still in room F315?" I asked, still panting a bit from how exhausted I was from running all the way here. Why did I run all the way here again? Who knows.

The receptionist looked at me with concern before she nodded. "Yes. I'll have to call the floor nurse to see if you can see her or not though. It seems there's been an update on visitor restrictions."

An update? Was that bad? That was probably bad. "Please hurry, I need to see her now."

Waiting seemed like it took forever. Phones were ringing all around and nurses were in and out grabbing more patients. Alarms sounded like they were going off, there were tons of things beeping. And my heart was still racing.

"You may head up. A nurse on the floor will give you a mask and some dry clothes to wear. You'll have to sanitize your hands and arms before going into the room, though." She gave me a brief rundown and I nodded, only half listening, as I went to the elevator.

I shoved my way between a few people, standing there awkwardly as we went up. I got off on floor three and was almost immediately greeted by both Ymir and Krista. "Why Ymir?" I groaned and she gave me a twisted look.

"I'm here for Krista, pretty boy, it's none of your concern." She muttered. How was she even a nurse? Really..

"Niccolo, before you go in you really need to change your clothes and clean up. We can't have you potentially compromising her immune system more."

I groaned again, just doing as she told me to do. It took me what seemed like forever, it was really only ten minutes though. Unfortunately, the only dry clothes they had available for me, probably only because Krista had a soft spot for me and not necessarily because it was allowed, was a pair of scrubs. She also gave me a mask.

"Now you can go in. She may be asleep though.." She began then sighed softly. "Niccolo, she's starting chemotherapy tomorrow. Just keep that in mind." She warned me before she left me alone by the door.

Chemotherapy? So she wasn't getting any better after all. I sighed, took in a deep breath, then opened the door. "Sasha?"

It took a few moments before I heard her bustling around a bit. Then I heard her sweet voice. "Nico?"