Hatred | CHAENNIE Ver.

Moving On

Dear Roseanne,

It's been four weeks, three days, and five hours that we aren't talking anymore. Yes, I'm counting it, and yes I'm sitting down at my table, hand-writing this letter to you. You've done this to me Rosie, you've brought out this pathetic, lovesick sap in me.

Why am I not typing this on my new laptop you may ask? Well because, I see this romantic gesture where I write this in my perfected calligraphy, write words of love to you, and as you read it you realize you should forgive me, and you embrace me, you hold me and you don't let go... ever.

Don't you see what you've done to me Park? For Christ's sake I was THE ICE QUEEN, the unwavering and merciless bitch. I still pretend that I am, but you know better, you know I'm not. Even though I try glaring at you and hating you, I can't. The moment I lock with those chocolate eyes of yours, I melt, I turn into a mush. I tried Rosie, I tried so hard these past few weeks to hate you, but it's not working.

I want to hate you, because you hate me. I can see it in your eyes, the eyes that once looked at me with care, that sent waves of pleasure and lust through my body, the eyes that comforted me in my darkest moments. It pains me to see you like that because I know I did that to you. I would give anything to see those cute cheeks and that dazzling smile of yours directed at me. I would give anything just to run my hand through your smooth locks. And most of all I would give anything just to taste those lips of yours.

You know, I've been playing this song from Beethoven for days now. It's melody is entrancing, kind of melancholic but utterly beautiful. It reminds me of my love towards you. I'd want to play it for you someday, but I know I won't have the chance to.

I want to cry again Rosie now that I'm writing this. My heart is constricting under this unbearable ache because I know I probably won't have you ever again. It's a pain unlike any other, and I want to hate you for inflicting it on me. I want to hate you so much Park, but I can't. I love you instead, I love you with every heartbeat and every breath I take. Sadly you'll never know it...

Always yours,

Ruby Jane Kim

Rosé wiped off the dampness from her forehead with her towel as she finished with cheering practice. Jisoo shot her a weird questioning side glance, as she did for the past month or so. Rosé sighed knowing that she will have to confide in her friend sooner or later. But she'd just rather forget, obliterate any memory of her relationship with Jennie from her mind.

Somi, one of the girls from the squad asked her if she was alright. She just nodded her head and mustered a fake smile. This is how Jennie how must have felt with all of those fake smiles, the thought fleeted her mind. Despite trying to think as least as possible of the Jennie'd always find a way to creep up into her thoughts.

"Let's go to class Rosé." Jisoo called her.

"Sure, let's just go quickly to my locker, I have to grab something." Rosé said, fastening the laces on her boots.

This morning they've had an early practice because cheering competition was nearing. Rosé occupied herself with school, work and cheering. She was doing anything to avoid thinking of Jennie. She decided she would go away for the summer, she needed the break from Australia.

She thought of visiting her sister who was somewhere in Korea at the time. She was a couple years older, and she was that artsy type that lived nomadic life, but she figured she'd want some adventure in her life. She had to talk to her about yet, but she didn't see why would she say no.