08/29/21
6:10 pm
I honestly don't know if I'm supposed to type it down here, but I just feel like I want to. My morning started with a peaceful one. More peaceful than the previous mornings. And when I say more peaceful, I meant, no mom shouting, no siblings banging the doors, and no neighbors being loud as fck. The day went well. I slept the whole morning which caused me to eat my lunch late.
Well, I am not really surprised, because mostly, I eat two meals a day. It's dinner time. My family sat down in the dining table, chitchatting and I excluded myself. My father has invited me to eat my dinner but I refused to eat with them. Quite rude, ain't it? The reason why I wanted to eat later than them is because the table is always full. Mind you, we only have a small dinning table, unlike those big ones you see mostly in the usual homes.
Also, not to mention I don't like the idea that we are living closely together, I mean we're literally living under the same roof as a family but we feel so distant. Honestly, I used to write journal entries every night, and I would feel so excited to write down the events, how I felt and everything. Now, I feel nothing. Nothing but frustrations, anger; everytime I write down. Nothing but the need to write down for the sake of my memories because i have a damn short term memory loss.
I felt the need to write down just so I could read, and have something to read in the next months, and probably years. I know on the other hand that I would surely grow and develop into writing. Lately, I have found myself getting grumpier at people who kept asking me questions. I swear, their questions feel like mushrooms. Kept popping out of nowhere. And, I didn't like it. It felt like they were pretending to care, and I hated it.
My 'squad' texted me asking how was I doing, and that they missed me already. The funny thing is, I didn't feel anything, at all. They were like, "we miss you. Don't you miss us?" "Yes, don't you miss us?" "Where are you? You haven't contacted any of us". And i was like, I was socially exhausted at this time, and I didn't have the feel to socialize with people. I even tried deleting my accounts, but then remembered i needed them lol.
I actually cringed. I am telling you, i am not the expressive type of person. In a way of expressing verbally? I don't excel in that area, but i do let people feel that I missed them, by actions perhaps. I'm a doer, if you don't mind. I have never expressed verbally how much I miss people. After those texting stuff, i decided to sleep the whole afternoon. By the way, they actually contacted me around after lunch, and mind you, this entry is written at 6:10PM.
I've got nothing else to say now. I would probably update when I feel like posting it here, and am gonna give you a heads up, I sometimes rant. Some of my entries are just pages of me ranting to how frustrating my days was. Writing entries can sometimes be fun, sometimes boring and sometimes amazing.
So, I guess I'll see you around.
See yah next time!
6:40PM
