The Boy Who Broke Me

Under Velvet

MADISON

When the front door opens, it startles Gavin and I so bad that our teeth smack together when we jump. It's mildly embarrassing, but before I can even think, he leaps up and sprints into the living room, leaving me dazed on the floor. I feel so dreamy and weird that it takes me a full minute to register what's happening, so I sit by myself, wobbly and disoriented. I can hear his voice from across the apartment, which helps draw me back into the reality of where I am. It feels impossible to stand up, because every cell in my body is humming and I feel like the universe is vibrating around me. Somehow, I manage to drunkenly climb up to my feet, using Gavin's bed to steady myself. I'm lightheaded, but I take two weak steps out of the room where I can see Gavin talking to some older guy through the door.

"You know when he's gonna be back?" The man at the door asks, looking terrible.

His clothes are wet with sweat and he looks like he might have the flu or something. His eyes have huge dark circles underneath them, and even though he's wearing long sleeves in the summer heat, he looks like he's cold.

Gavin looks nervous and keeps one hand on the door, blocking the man from coming inside. "No idea, man." He grunts.

"Oh..." The man says, wringing his hands together, "There like... anyway you can help me out, bro?" He asks, looking over Gavin's shoulder where his eyes catch mine. Gavin looks back too, seeing now that I followed him for the first time.

"No." He says flatly, pushing the door shut in the guy's face and locking it. He speeds over to me and takes me by the hand, making my skin prickle all over again. "Come on." He says coldly, "I need to take you home now."

Gavin stays silent as he leads me out the door, pulling me close as we walk down the steps. Outside, I can see the guy from earlier is still waiting, sitting down on the sidewalk. His eyes drill holes into the back of my head as Gavin pushes me into the car, making me super uncomfortable. I wait for the man to say something, or go away, but instead he just stares at me like crazy.

"Who is that?" I ask once the door shuts.

"A junkie." Gavin mutters, not looking at me.

I wait for him to explain but instead he just takes a cigarette out of his pocket and lights it, rolling the window down. I may have grown up in Cherry Hills but I'm not stupid, and I know what a junkie is. Why one would be coming to Gavin's house is what bothers me.

"What did he want?" I ask, knowing I might be pushing too far.

Gavin inhales deeply and blows the smoke out the side of his mouth toward the window. He looks upset but I can't tell if it's from that guy or from me asking him about it. I say nothing but wait for him to answer.

"He's looking for my cousin" he finally mumbles, holding the cigarette between his teeth while avoiding my eyes. "I don't think I should bring you to my house again" he adds, accelerating us toward the freeway.

I know it's childish and stupid but hearing him say that I shouldn't come back again feels like a punch in the stomach. Maybe I shouldn't have expected anything, but my feeling are hurt anyway. I don't know what's up with Gavin. It seemed like we were bonding, and that everything was great, but now he's acting super distant, and I can't help but feel like I've upset him. I'm not sure where it's coming from, or if it's even my fault, but I can't shake the feeling that I've messed up with him somehow. Driving on the freeway, I look at his face, waiting for him to make eye contact with me, but he doesn't. His eyes look completely dead, fixed straight ahead with no emotion to them at all. Normally their sky blue, but right now they look darker, like the ocean.