Brave Fear (boyxboy)

Chapter 25

The fear began to creep in miles above the earth.

Whenever Zane tried to imagine what had come over him when Jonas was being pulled apart, he could never put a name to it. And it scared him. He had lost all his control, all his willpower. He had become an animal, and not in a Marcus sense.

He had been overwhelmed by a primal urge to protect those he cared for. The connection he felt with Jonas was unlike the one he shared with Joseph or Daisy. It was a connection of experiences, thoughts, fears. When Joseph was in danger, it was as if his future was hanging by a thread. But when Jonas had been in peril, it was as if Zane himself was in peril. The tall boy was so similar to Zane, a rule-following citizen who was manipulated by Wawrzynski.

As they cruised at thirty-five thousand feet, Jonas at the controls, he let himself be terrified. He let himself remember the red that had crossed his vision, how he had zeroed in on the soldiers and his thoughts had been occupied by every possible way he could hurt them.

And when he thought of what happened with Joseph after, he couldn't help but sense a hint of metallic taste upon his tongue. He had viciously harmed many people without remorse and had the audacity to feel happiness just moments later. Their kiss felt false, unreal, and not in a good way. He was slightly sick to his stomach. Not because of this kiss, it was fantastic, but because of the horrific background events that he had created.

His limbs got twitchy the longer he sat down, so he stood up, struggling to keep from swaying. He couldn't confront this right now. Maybe he could never confront this. He found himself longing to make a promise, a vow with himself, to never hurt anybody else. But inside he knew this was foolish, for in his current predicament, there would be no choices, no chances. Nothing but forced actions.

It was what Wawrzynski wanted.

He stumbled out of the small bunking quarters into the main body of the plane. It had been designed to hold two dozen soldiers, so it fit them all extremely comfortably. Two benches lined the walls of the thin plane, and Marcus was lounged across them, his feet propped up opposite from where he was sitting. Daisy must have packed multitudinous boxes of Froot Loops, for she was having Mallory toss them into her mouth. Joseph was positioned nearby, his knees spread wide, his eyes closed. Zane couldn't tell if he was sleeping or simply taking a breather.

Next to the door Zane had come from, a ladder led up to the cockpit of the plane, where he presumed Jonas was, and perhaps Anastasia. The bunking quarters were tucked underneath the cockpit in a small room with a low ceiling.

Zane scaled the ladder, not relishing getting hit with Froot Loops as he tried to sit down. What he dreaded slightly more was the conversation Daisy was sure to have with him once she caught him alone. He still wasn't sure how he felt about what happened with Joseph, so how could he describe it to her?

The first thing in the cockpit he saw was a flash of bright red, Anastasia's hair. It stood out starkly against the covert blackness of the plane's interior. Whereas Daisy's dyed hair was a less vibrant color, Anastasia's could probably cause blindness.

"Hey, Zane," Jonas said. He had donned a pair of aviator sunglasses, ironically, and they were positioned on top of his mop of hair.

Zane nodded his greetings as he planted his feet on the floor of the cockpit, swaying slightly. He almost toppled over backward. Anastasia didn't spare him a glance. She appeared to be muttering words under her breath, over and over, as if reciting a line for a play.

"How's your dislocated shoulder?" Zane asked, directing the question toward Jonas. He still didn't know what had happened to the boy, but he respected his secrecy. Seeing as he'd been Wawrzynski's foster son, he deserved to have some secrets.