Defrost my heart

Chapter 24

Dean's POV
This night I had snuggled especially close to Rose. I didn't want to let her go. I didn't want to leave her alone, but tomorrow was the day I would be released...

I lifted my head and looked at Rose; she looked at the ceiling as usual and seemed lost in thought.
''Do you think everything will be all right?" I whispered.
A long time passed before she answered me when I was already worried that she had heard me at all, ''I don't know," she answered softly, very softly indeed.

''I didn't hear you. What did you say?" Of course, I heard her very well, but I just wanted to see what her answer would be now.
''Yes, everything will be fine," she said, this time loud and clear, and then smiled at me.
''Rose...are you sure you are alright?"

She nodded at this question.
"I'm worried about you."
"Please don't worry about me. Everything is fine. Everything will be fine." Lie. She is lying to me.
''I'm still worried," I mumbled, closing my eyes.

Again a long time passed until Rose turned to me. She was breathing a little heavily, so I opened my eyes and looked at her.
''Dean... why are you worried about me?"

This question made me pause for a moment.

But then I mustered up my courage and simply said what was buzzing in my mind, ''Because I saw you trying to end everything because I heard that you tried to take your own life and because..." I broke off in the middle of the sentence and swallowed hard. Was I even allowed to say the words? Did I have the right to say this after all that I had done to her?

''I simply saw no other way out for me. He has already done everything with me; he wanted to do much more. And I didn't want it. I couldn't take it," it sounded logical, but... I don't know.
"I understand. But now you also seem ... like you don't want life anymore."

She didn't say anything; she was silent and stared into my eyes.

''And... I know it sounds crazy and I can imagine that you don't want it .... but I want... no, because I would like to restart ... with you. I would love to ... be friends with you," I squinted my eyes for a second and then looked at her hopefully, ''I would love to be friends with you. Have fun with you and be happy," I sighed long, "I can understand that you don't want it; I was an ass after all and just judged you and ... I'm so sorry for everything. It's not just because of this incident that happened... I was jealous of you... I was just jealous. I had already thought you might have had a bad past, and I couldn't understand why you were so friendly and kind. I am angry and envious of everyone because I was not as lucky as the others. And that made me angry to see that you are still kind. I didn't make it, and I was always angry and somehow... I just made everything worse..." I closed my mouth because I felt like I was just babbling shit. Indeed, I was even getting red in the face.

Rose pulled away from the hand I was unconsciously holding. So I guess that means she can't forgive me. But... What the hell was I thinking.
I'm just a complete idiot.
Just as I was about to turn my face away, her hand was already in front of my eyes.
She stretched out her five fingers and smiled. Exactly the hand, which had deep cuts, to free me from the shackles through the broken glass. The memory sent a shiver down my spine.

''I'm Rose Mayer, the future stepsister of Jin Stefans. And you?" I had to blink a few times to understand what was going on.

But then I also started to smile with relief and took her hand.
''I'm Dean Collins. Nice to meet you," I couldn't help blushing; I was so relieved and embarrassed.

Rose placed our closed hand on my cheek, ''I can imagine that you think I am strange," she looked into my eyes for a long time, which gave me confidence.
''No. Not at all. I really want to be friends with you and start over. That's why this gesture just made me overjoyed," I paused for a moment before I started to speak.