WONDERLAND

Chapter 10

Finley doesn't say anything, but lets me speak.

"When I was 18, I met Henry's best friend for the first time. I had heard about him a little, but never actually met him, because he never came over or anything. Him and Henry just went out to party all the time. Oh, his, name is Justin, by the way. My best friend Fie took me to this party one night and Henry and Justin were there. So we kinda strated sneaking around. It was innocent at first, though, we were just hanging around. But then he started to make moves on me. And I accepted them. Until we finally slept together... And it was my first time too, on top of all of that."

"Oh," comes out of Finley's mouth, but it's very quiet, almost as if he's feeling sorry for me.

I continue. "It wasn't great, if you're wondering. Lasted like two minutes and he didn't speak to me after that for like an hour."

Finley eyes widen. "What an asshole. That's not how you treat girls after you have sex with them."

I look at him. "Right. And then the next day he broke up with me."

Finley rubs his hands over his face. "Oh, god. Please tell me it doesn't get any worse?"

I smile. "And I found out he had a girlfriend the whole time."

Finley groans. "There's no way that's real."

"Sadly, it is. I never saw him again. He moved away with his girlfriend. Henry was pretty sad too. But the thing is... I don't know if I got my heart broken or not. I wasn't in love with him. I did like him, yes, but I think I just wanted to experience something. Of course now I wish none of that had happened."

"But maybe that's the reason your brother was being a dick? Because he found out about you and that piece of shit?"

I snort. "I don't think so. I know Henry. He would just straight up confront me. Plus, it was like two years ago."

Finley nods.

"So, what about you? Why did you and your ex-girlfriend actually break up?"

I am curious, yes. Plus, it would be very rude of him not to tell me, because I just told him my biggest secret. And it felt so simple and easy for some reason.

He takes and deep breath and then holds it for a second until breathing out loudly.

"It's...not an easy story to hear, I'm just warning you."

I look at him, trying to swallow, but there's a lump in my throat. I didn't think it was so serious. I bite my lip, scared of what I'm about to hear.

"A few years ago, I met Zoe. We clicked right away, atleast I thought we did. The first few months were good. Amazing, even. But then...she changed, I guess? She started picking on me, about everything I did. I never seemed to do anything right or how she wanted. Then came the verbal abuse - she called me stupid, an idiot, said I was a loser and...worthless. She even shamed me for my body. For everything."

My mouth falls slightly open hearing all of that. I don't know what I was expecting, but it for sure wasn't this. I couldn't have never imagined Finley going through all of this. Yes, my situation was bad, but it doesn't come close to this.

There's isn't really a emotion I can read from Finley's face when he is telling me all of this. He isn't sad, but maybe there's a faint look of regret in his eyes, that are avoiding mine. And he is probably tired and just wants to sleep.

"I finally had enough, of course. So I collected the courage to break up with her and that was one of the worst moments of my life..."

I don't even get to say anything as I watch Finley sliding down the soft duvet to his lower stomach, revealing his bare skin. I can see the white waistband of his underwear, which itself is black, but everything else is still hidden under the sheets.

My cheeks flush at the sight of him, but I try to focus as he points to the left side of his lower stomach. There is a long light pink line of a scar, running a little wonkily along his skin.

I gasp. "Oh my God!"

Finley rubs it gently. "Yeah, it'll turn white soon."

"Wow," I whisper to myself, fighting the urge to touch it. I love scars. I like seeing them on other people, knowing that there is so much history behind them. They show how strong you are. Scars show that you survived.

I mean of course, when there's a scar on your hand because your knife slipped when cutting an onion, it's not that deep of a story.

Well, the only scar that I have is a little one on my knee. It was a scab that I used to pick at when I was little, so the wound just got worse and worse and couldn't heal.

That fact that this scar is on Finley messes with my head a little bit. Why does he have to have something that I admire so much? I don't want to show him that inside I'm giving everything I have to not fan over his scar.

"Can I touch it?" I blurt out, my whole face burning hot and probably in the shade of a tomato.

Finley bites the inside of his lip. "Yeah."

I gulp as I reach his stomach, my fingers making contact with his hot skin. And soft. But that's not important.

I watch my hand as I run my fingertips gently along his scar, barely even touching it.

"I'm sorry what happened to you, but your scar is beautiful," I speak my mind, but avoid looking at his face.

When Finley doesn't say anything I pull my hand away, the feeling of him still on my fingertips.

When I raise my eyes, I catch him looking at me. Not even looking, but staring. I feel uncomfortable again. Is there something in my hair?

The hair that he likes the color of.

I clear my throat, awkwardly trying to break the silence. "I think I should go back to my room, now."

I start to climb off his bed, but he stops me by grabbing my arm.

I look at his hand holding mine, then his face. There's something in his eyes I can't explain. He looks like a lost puppy.

"Did you really mean it?"

"Mean what?"

"That my scar is beautiful."

"Finley, I wouldn't say something like that and not mean it. You're gorgeous." When Finley's eyes widen a little bit, I realise what I just said. "Uhm, I mean you scar. Your scar is gorgeous." I correct myself.

Finley nods and let's go of my arm. I walk to the door and I'm almost out of his room, when he stops me for a second.

"Harriet, thank you."