3 months have passed:
Dear Ash,
I'm struggling hard.
I love you and I'm failing you. Questions bombard me every day like a hurricane. I know they are trying to help but why can't they see it? You are the reason that my heart aches.
I'm angry at you. I feel nothing but aversion but then I hate myself for hating you. It wasn't your fault.
Every-time I think of the pain I remember you who tried to get through worse.
I'm pathetic. Sing is helping me to cope, but I'm being ungrateful and not listening to him. I don't take my meds, don't drink or eat. There's more I could list but you wouldn't want to hear it.
The nightmare happened again. The one where you fall out of my grasp and into a deep spiralling mess, yet you're smiling that you're leaving me. I don't want to let go! Grab onto my hand Ash..I'll make the pain go away! Just trust me! Why couldn't you just trust me..
If only you did. If only you got onto the plane and rushed towards me, I would have held you not letting you go, protecting you from the demons that now infest my brain.
You would want me to get through it, right? So I'm going to live for you. Going to make you proud, just one more smile Ash. Give me one precious angelic smile of yours.
Right.
You're not here.
You will never be here again.
I love you, life is too long without you.
~Eiji
YOU ARE READING
Letters to my soul
FanficThis is Eiji writing letters to Ash. It shows his struggles, his questions and his forever pain for his love over the days, the months and the years until the very day Eiji will finally be reunited with his soul. Warning: Sensitive to the heart so i...
