All This Time

Suddenly, a pen pal

Mika didn't know how it happened, but suddenly, she had a pen pal.

Did people even have pen pals nowadays? She had sent and received a few postcards to friends at some point, but actual long-form letters? Maybe during her high school retreat. Or in emails. But even people were too lazy to write long emails.

So this...fan, C, was something. Mika had expected not to see her poster on the board within the day of pinning her reply to him, so she was surprised to see a note soon after saying goodbye to Paul that morning. That particular encounter had already filled her with a massive amount of kilig, so seeing a new letter? Made. Her. Day.

Then it just went on. First, Mika thought it would just stop because who writes to an anonymous, amateur artist anyway? Her poster wasn't even that good. But then the next letters kept coming, and she kept replying because honestly, she didn't want to be rude to her only fan.

But more than that, it was fun talking to him. From their first discussion about Mika's poster, their topics expanded to other life things—from their different sibling dynamics (he was the youngest among his siblings, while Mika was the eldest), to thoughts about family, current events, and religion, and back to being true to yourself and finding the courage to do the right things. She looked forward to each of his letters, and she enjoyed replying to them just as much as she received them.

"You know, I'm totally not against this mysterious You've Got Mail thing you've got going," Therese said one morning while she watched Mika was doodling little envelopes on her sketch pad. "But how sure are you that he's not a creep? Or not even a creep, but a class-A jerk? Or what if he's asked someone to write for him, or he is writing for someone. Anyone can write all those things that he said. Maybe you're not even talking to a real person."

"Jeez, Therese, what have you been watching?" Mika said, rolling her eyes. "And to be honest, I don't know who he is. I still don't even know his real name! But it's not like he knows who I really am, either. For all we know, he may also be thinking the same thing. Or maybe, he's also a normal guy who is also looking for someone to talk to. And I can always just stop replying. It's not like I'm sharing sensitive personal information with him."

"Sensitive personal information? You sound like my boss."

She learned that term from Paul, actually, who had been another surprise in the past weeks. Since that morning when he saved her from slipping then folded his sleeves in front of her—she will never get over that, thank you very much—her mornings at Ahjummart became mornings with Paul. From quick hi's and nods of acknowledgment, they progressed to having actual conversations. It wasn't always long since he had to go to work, and she had to go back to her other "work," but they had already exchanged TV series and movie recommendations, joked about Metro Manila traffic, and even discussed a bit about politics and current events. It was an unexpected development, and while it gave Mika a great kilig start to her day, she found that the initial giddiness she felt whenever she saw him there had calmed down a little bit.

Because while Paul's smart quips had made her laugh every morning, C's words thoughts made her think and reflect more about herself and her art. Not that one was better than the other. She wasn't even sure it was a fair comparison or if it was right to compare at all. But she couldn't deny that C was making her feel more things than Paul did. And writing to him seemed to have moved her block just a little—not so much that the ideas were flowing like a river like they used to, but just enough for Mika to keep trying.

And sometimes, the trying was already half the battle.