The New Girl

Decisions

Clara-

River looked at me and sighed, his eyes dropped suddenly and he nodded. Clearly, we both felt the connection, but that doesn't mean it is right. Right now I need to focus on myself. I should probably be trying to make friends, not date. Plus, River seems to have some drama with Victoria that needs to be resolved still. I really don't want to be involved in that.

"I guess I will see you at school tomorrow then?" He asked, and I nodded quickly.

"Uh, yeah, school. See you tomorrow." I said quickly as I started climbing out of his car. "Oh, and I think I will get to school on my own tomorrow." I said as I started to close the door. He looked hurt, but he nodded his head anyway. I turned and walked into my house quietly, trying to not wake my mom if she was asleep. That woman is far from a night owl. She has always been a morning person. Morning is a much better time for art, at least to her and I. There is something so relaxing and wonderful about sitting with the morning light coming through you window while you draw or paint. Lighting is much more difficult to get right at night. 

I wasn't surprised to find that my mother had fallen asleep on the couch with the light from the television glowing around her, but the volume off. She had always done that if I was out. She always told me to let her sleep but leave a note so she knew I was home, otherwise she would freak out when she woke up. So, I went and grabbed a sticky note and wrote on it that I was home, then left it on the coffee table in front of the couch. 

My bed was a heap of blankets with some clothes thrown on top from this morning. I should have stopped to hang them up, but I didn't feel like it, so I did the lazy thing and threw them on the chair in the corner of my room. I wanted them away from me and out of mind. My brain was buzzing still from that kiss, which was just a moment or two long, and meant nothing, but still had me feeling overwhelmed and scared. Obviously, I couldn't let that happen. River and I can't happen. What I need to do is go to school tomorrow and stay away from that whole group of guys and stay away from Victoria. Maybe I could try to make some new friends, friends who wouldn't kiss me or act like pigs like some of those guys do. Sure, they are only joking usually, but I don't like those jokes right now. I don't know them well enough for that. 

That's it, I am going to make new friends. It isn't too late for me to change the path that I am going down, sure, I can't turn around and change what has already happened, but I can make the choice to turn here and see where a new path may lead. 

As I drifted off to sleep I found myself thinking about all the different groups of people I had noticed in the school, and thought of none that I felt would quickly accept me. This was going to take work.