Seen - Ruel Van Dijk (Completed)

Chapter 17 - I Shouldn't Have

I had slept on the couch that night. I didn't want to disturb Ruel after the seemingly huge day he had had. So, that morning I got ready for work quickly and quietly, careful not to wake him.

The day at work was pretty normal. Boring, lifeless, uneventful. Ruel didn't show up, as I expected. I figured Maddie got pretty pissed over it, as she was criticising me more than usual. I didn't care as much as I used to now though, because I knew these comments were out of jealousy. She was jealous of me. Maybe that's why she had changed? Jealousy? But why would she be jealous of my life? I had an alcoholic father and a crazy ex and my life now isn't exactly perfect.

- -

It was quite late when I got home so I was surprised to see Ruel still up on the couch. He looked about as empty as he was the previous night. I don't think he had heard me come in, as he was staring intently at the floor, probably spaced out.

"Hey," I smiled as I shut the front door. "You okay?"

He turned to look at me, seemingly unfazed by my sudden dialogue.

"When am I not?" he said simply, not breaking eye contact.

"Just making sure," I sighed, not wanting to bring up last night. I dropped my bag on the bench and took out my phone. I sat down on the couch next to Ruel.

Time to make some people's days.

I smiled. I had come up with this little idea I would do to try to make fan's days a little better. Obviously I wasn't Ruel, and I couldn't force him to interact with fan made things and fan pages, but now that I was associated with him, I could interact with them myself. I would usually pick one fan account to look at each time, whether that be Ruel's fan pages or mine (yes, I did have fan pages) and I'd like a couple posts, and occasionally comment on some. It doesn't sound like much, but I remembered being a fan and I was so happy when Ruel's friends and/or family liked a comment, or interacted with a post of mine. And it was a nice pass time for me to look at edits, books, drawings et cetera that fans had spent time making.

I was looking at ruelslostdriverslicense's page when Ruel suddenly leant over.

"What are you doing?" he furrowed a brow at me.

"Being nice and giving your fans attention because you won't," I replied plainly, continuing scrolling down the instagram page.

"There's so many," he sighed.

"Even just looking at one can make all the difference," I said seriously, looking up at him. "You mean everything to them Ruel."

He said nothing, but continued to look me in the eyes. I couldn't describe it, but I saw something different in his eyes tonight. It was like a rainbow, but a little dimmer. Like rain, but not a storm. More of the little showers you get when it's sunny. He wasn't sad anymore. That's about all I was sure of.

Until he leant closer to me, and I was confused once again. He was close enough that I could feel his gentle breath on my lips. I should've pulled away. I should've stopped it there. But I was enchanted, under his spell. And as long as I could feel his steady breath and the slow pounding of his heart, I wasn't going anywhere.

And then, before I could think, his lips were on mine. They were phenomenally soft and gentle and sweet. I loosened my hands, dropping my phone to the floor. But I didn't care about my phone, because Ruel was kissing me. I brought my hands to his hair, gently tangling them in his locks, careful not to scare him away. He breathed his warmth onto my lips, making me shiver. He kissed me like I was the air he needed to breathe, like I was his heart, beating gently to keep him alive, like I was the water he hadn't drank in a hundred years. And I kissed him back, like I needed him just as much. Because I did. And I had to tell him that, but I couldn't figure out the words too. So I told him through every brush of my every finger in his hair, every touch of his sweet lips, every tiny wisp of his melodious tongue. And I savoured every millisecond of this moment, because I didn't know if I'd get the chance to ever again. I wanted to stay here, with his lips on mine, my hands in his hair, his warmth all over me, encased in each others scent forever. 

But I couldn't. 

I had to breathe.

I gently lifted my lips off of his and sucked in a breath of surprisingly cold air, and pulled my hands out of his hair. I fought the urge to just snuggle back into his chest and stay in his warm arms as long as time lasted. 

"Fuck. I shouldn't have done that," he cursed under his breath. 

"No, that was my fault, I'm sorry," I breathed, still gasping in air. "I should've stopped."

He gazed back up at my now certainly scarlet face. Now the room was silent with tension. Neither of us said a word. All I could hear was my desperate panting and his ever so delicate breaths. I couldn't understand how everything about him was so delicate, so fragile, so gentle. He was simply ethereal. And here he was, sitting right in front of me. So close to me I could feel his transcendent breath on me. It was like an inescapable spell. Or an addicting drug. And I had definitely overdosed on whatever kind it was. I was profoundly entranced by him, and it wasn't funny. 

A/N

Hi. I'm sorry. I have to wreck this. But I'll fix it! Don't kill me please. 

Anyway, thank you for all the love, I wish I could show you all how much it means to me. I can honestly say that I could never have expected this book to go the way it is going, and I'm so glad it is going how it is, because I have met some of the nicest people I have ever spoken to through this. And that is something that my thanks to you will never be enough to repay you all. 

You all deserve so much love, and if you aren't receiving the love you deserve, please let me shower some on you. Thank you for reading so far! ily all so so much and have a lovely day!

Quote of the day

A bore is someone who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.

-Oscar Wilde

Word Count: 1139