In the wake of the Summit War, a yōkai hunter negotiates a pact between her clan and the Heart Pirates. The alliance is fragile from the start, but things are complicated further when her tenuous relationship with the Surgeon of Death takes an unexp...
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MARINE CRIMINAL INVESTIGATIVE SERVICE
VALERIS ISLAND HQ - ARCHIVES
SUPPORTING EVIDENCE
CASE NO. 2306-4837
ENTRY 25
[REDACTED], 1518
I've thought about burning this journal. Came close to it so many times. The fact that I don't know why exactly is why I'd resolved not to until I've figured it out...and now I think I did.
Going through the past couple entries, I only realized now that I haven't mentioned her name once since that day. All the pages after that are filled with the most mundane trivialities. As if this whole exercise has become something of a chore (which in a way, it had....) A random observation here, a short conversation there. But none of them are really recollections worth keeping.
There is a part of me that just wants to dismiss this on account of my being capricious. Just too tired & overwhelmed to recount everything. To try to preserve something that I know can never fully be expressed in words.
But I think it points to something else. I know it does. Because even now I feel this sense of guilt to even mention her here. To dare put into words how many times she's saved me, sometimes without even knowing it herself. How I will never deserve her.
How much it hurts that we have to hide it.
I think there is a part of me that is still scared, just like she is. And God, I know she is terrified even though she will never say it aloud.
She told me herself once – I alone have the power to destroy her. Destroy us both.
I can't afford to be reckless with it.
It feels wrong even now. Writing about these things when I know it has the potential to hurt her in the long run.But I need to, if but for the sake of my own sanity in the future.
