BMC oneshots

The Goose Chase (literally) - boyf riends

cross-posted this one on ao3 el oh el(same username)! And holy heck it's been like what?? half a year?? at least.

Ok so just in case, here are the basic AU rules: When one is ready to meet their soulmate, a goose will appear out of nowhere and chase them directly and violently to said soulmate. The soulmate in question may also have a goose, but it is usually idle. This happens based on emotional maturity rather than age.

just a bit of swearing in this one :)

-

Jeremy Heere felt left out. And for the stupidest reason too.

His pretty much only friends, fondly known as the Squip Squad, had all found their soulmates already. It wasn't even abnormal by any means for upperclassmen to have already found their soulmates, but Jeremy still sat in his room, moping and playing some clickbaity game on his phone. Of course, Michael hadn't found his soulmate either — Jeremy thought he would recall his best friend getting chased around by a goose — but Michael was Michael. It wasn't this big source of comfort that Jeremy's loser best friend didn't have a soulmate, y'know, like a loser.

So there he was as previously mentioned, laying on his bed and beating the shit out of edgy 12 year olds. The school day had been a nightmare. There was a goose in the hallway between first and second period, and then everyone made a big deal about it at lunch, so all of his friends ended up talking about their own personal goose anecdotes. A lovely day to feel extra loser-y.

He had just finished winning the twenty-something-eth round of this game (it was more intricate than he thought, which was a nice surprise). He couldn't get his mind off of the soulmate thing no matter what he tried. He unceremoniously dropped the phone onto his chest, going to stare at the white ceiling.

"Y'know what?" Jeremy asked. "If you magical soulmate geese can hear me, can you cut me some slack? It's just seriously bumming me out that you haven't sent one for me yet. Whatever. I shouldn't care that much about it, it's just a stupid soulmate anyways. I've got my whole life to wait around and find one."

And Jeremy blinked. And there it was.

A pure white goose with a vibrant orange beak and little beady eyes sat nestled on the bed between Jeremy and the wall. It stared at Jeremy, and he stared back. It cocked its head.

Jeremy was running before the fist ear-spitting honk.

He shoved his phone in his pajama pants pocket as he raced down the stairs, simply shouting, "Goose!" over his shoulder to alert his dad.

"Good luck, son. You'd better tell me all about her when you get back," his dad yelled from a room over. And then Jeremy was running out the door, not even bothering to shut it behind him. Damn, even after an eternity of forced exercise and habits that followed, Jeremy was still panting after the first block. That goose was really fast.

He fumbled for his phone to pull Michael up on video call. He almost tripped in the process, but kept running as he waited for Michael to pick up. His call tone rang an agonizing three times before Michael picked up with a, "Yellow."

Michael stared at the situation through the phone: Jeremy's camera shaking uncontrollably while it zoomed past buildings with a series of honks coming from what sounded like only a few feet away.

"Hah— goose is chasing me. Heading your direction I think. Help," Jeremy said through labored breaths. Michael busted out laughing.

"Oh my god, Jeremy! This is fucking gold! I hope you know I'm recording this."

"Not. Helping." Jeremy couldn't help but huff out a laugh of his own in the sheer stupidity of the situation. Like, imagine being chased by a goose at 10:30-ish at night through a quiet neighborhood in pajama pants and a nerdy-as-hell Minecraft shirt with your best friend hysterically laughing at you through the phone. That's gotta be at least a little funny, right?

"Hold on, hold on," Michael said once he got his laughing under control. "Lemme get on some socially acceptable clothes and then I'll be out to help."

"WHO CARES ABOUT SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE I AM BEING CHASED BY A HOMICIDAL GOOSE"

The banter continued until Jeremy was about a block away from Michael's house. Michael didn't seem to be in a big rush given the current situation, which was odd, but then again Michael was allowed to be an ass sometimes. Jeremy was running hard and fast enough that even his gym teacher would be proud — not that high of a bar, but when you're Jeremy it's an accomplishment.

Michael was taking his sweet time to get to the door, tying his shoes at his leisure and even so much as chatting with his mothers who were upstairs.

"We don't have time for this Michael, just— AH! I'm on your block just please come out here and HELP ME!" And with that, Jeremy hung up and shoved the phone back in his pocket to book it down the rest of the street.

It took a mere couple of seconds for Jeremy to come bounding down Michael's front yard because he still hadn't come outside yet. He cursed under his breath before banging on the door and yelling, "MICHAEL I'M SERIOUS!"

Michael finally opened the door. Thank fuck.

And then the honking stopped.

A small goose waddled from behind Michael's legs to join the one that was just chasing Jeremy, and the two geese walked off silently.

Jeremy turned back to Michael, who was holding a shy smile and a great deal of blush. Jeremy looked at him with his eyes all wide and his mouth definitely agape. The two stared at each other. Michael seemed to be waiting anxiously for a reaction of any kind, and Jeremy was still processing the last five minutes of his life.

So Michael knew all along, huh? "You son of a bitch, you knew and you didn't say anything? Why wasn't yours chasing you?" Standing on the tallest step leading into the Mell household, Jeremy was a good foot shorter than Michael. Was it too weird to say he thought it was kind of nice?

Michael laughed. "Well, in my defense, I was about to text you about it when you called me. Figured it was you. Might as well be an ass about it."

"Okay— that's fair, but I still can't believe you did it, dick."

"I mean it's not like it wanted me to go anywhere, it was just idling, chilling on your bean bag."

Jeremy didn't have anything else to say, so he didn't say anything. He just stared Michael up and down and found a resting place for his eyes looking directly into his. Michael shoved his hands in his signature vermillion hoodie's front pocket.

He let his thoughts drift, not focusing on anything in particular. Just looking at his best friend in his comfortable hoodie and his vintage jeans from the '80s, the ones Jeremy had been there for when he bought them.

"So," Michael said, "We're soulmates."

"Yeah. I can't say I've thought about you in that way before, at least not seriously, but yeah it makes sense." Michael lifted Jeremy up into a warm hug.

"Well, that kinda makes my side of this awkward, but who cares, right?"

Jeremy wrapped his arms high around Michael's back, letting him set him back on his tiptoes. "For the record, what I said does not mean I've never been into you. Just, like, I didn't think anything of it at the time."

Michael crushed him even tighter. He smelled like slushies and warm soup and smoke.

"Hey, since you're already here, do you want to spend the night?"

Jeremy finally (reluctantly) escaped Michael's grasp, holding him at a lazy arm's length. "Yeah. We should probably talk about a few things."

-

that was it congratulations you made it to the end

- Leevee