make me fade || e.jaeger

1. break up

"I'm sorry, y/n. I just don't think we should do this anymore."

As those words leave Jean's mouth, it takes you a moment to process what he is trying to tell you. When you finally do, the same sentence replays in your mind over and over, almost like an echo.

By the way his lips were moving, you could tell Jean was still talking to you, trying to explain himself maybe. You weren't hearing any of it. The first sentence he told you was all you needed to hear to feel completely crushed. It felt like your head was underwater and Jean was trying to speak to you from the surface.

You could not understand why he was doing this. Maybe if you actually listened to him you would.. Scratch that, you knew exactly why he was doing this, you just didn't want to believe he was going through with it. You and Jean have been dating since sophomore year in high school and you actually lasted up until now, your freshman year of college. Your relationship was nowhere near perfect but he was your person. Your first for everything.

You assumed he was doing the thing guys always do when they start college. The I want the whole college experience bullshit.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" Jean asks with furrowed eyebrows and reaches out, putting his palm on your cheek. His words snap you back into reality and you quickly make eye contact with him.

"Yeah. I'm completely fine." You try to lie while holding back your tears but the crack in your voice gives away that you were hurt by the situation.

His eyes soften as the guilt begins to pour in. He attempts to caress your soft cheek with his thumb but you gently remove his hand from your face, because quite frankly you didn't want the man that was trying to break up with you touching you.

Jean awkwardly shoves his hands into his pockets and stares at his feet. He lets out a deep sigh and finally begins to speak again. "I just think we should try to see other people."

Ding ding ding ding. It was like a fucking buzzer went off in your head as soon as those words escaped his lips. You almost wanted to laugh at how predictable the situation was but you couldn't get over the immense amount of pain that he brought you with only 10 words.

He was bored of you, of your relationship. He wanted to sleep around with all the girls that this campus had to offer instead of staying with the girl that took his virginity and seemingly made him happy. At least you thought you did, he definitely made you happy, so you did not want him to leave you.

You lift yourself out of your chair with a heavy huff and grab the half eaten Taco Bell burrito off the counter. The original plan was to meet Jean at his apartment for lunch, not fucking break up.

"Okay Jean, whatever makes you happy." You push past him, tossing the burrito in the trash can since you surely didn't have the stomach to finish it after the shit he just pulled. You hate the thought of wasting food but he bought it so..

Jean stares intently at you as you tread towards the door, confused at how calm you were remaining. "I still want to be friends! Like.. I still wanna see you and stuff. I will always care about you, ya know." He abruptly announces before you could leave.

Ignoring that statement, you place your hand on the doorknob and push the door open. As you step out the door, he opens his horseface again, like he was clinging onto this last moment with you. "Do you need a ride to class? I can still give you one. That was the plan anyway right?" He questions and stiffly places his hand on the back of his neck.

Does this man not feel the least bit awkward??

You turn around to face him and soak up all his features since you were not going to see him nearly as much or at all. Staring at his ashy brown mullet, his brown eyes, and that stupid excuse for a beard settled on his chin sent a twinge of pain into your chest.