Goodbye's Second Chance

Come Away With Me

The closing ceremonies came in a flash and saying goodbye again seemed harder than ever. I had to leave with the team this time, I couldn't stay behind, no matter how I begged. All thanks to the pandemic. Haji had washed my clothes with his after that night and as I sat there in the airport moping, I was surrounded by his scent. It was a little comfort that a piece of him was coming back with me at least. As we boarded the plane and settled in for the long flight, I felt something in the inside pocket of my jacket.

I reached in and pulled out a little folded note:

My Tooru,

I couldn't be prouder of you.

I love you so much.

I'll be with you soon.

-Your Haji

It was literally the single most adorable and romantic thing I've ever seen. The tears welled up and I rubbed at my eyes to keep the jackass next to me from seeing them. "You ok?" Gomez asked a little too loudly. Dammit. How does see everything? "Of course. I'm just tired." I lied. "How do I always end up with you, of all the people on this team?" I asked. "What d'ya mean? I thought we were besties?" he said feigning a sad puppy face. "Shut up," I said shaking my head as he laughed, "And please don't ever say 'besties' again."

I folded the note back up and put it back in my pocket, squeezing it tight to my chest as I relaxed into my seat for the flight. My head was full of future us. There was a time where I couldn't see him being in my life ever again, but now, I can't imagine a future without him. There were plenty of times I was afraid that he'd rather walk away than stay in such a difficult relationship. It wasn't even the distance that was the problem.

The lasting scars from that Christmas night weren't just physical ones. I could deal with the headaches and bones that ached in the cold. It was the nightmares that still came around, the anxiety when we were in public, and how it always got worse the closer it got to Christmas. It was the way he took MMA classes to get stronger without telling me at first and the anger I'd catch in his eyes sometimes as he worked out like a fiend. The fact that he never once seemed to consider leaving us behind throughout all the fights and hard nights, still baffles my mind.

I guess I'm still always just amazed that he feels the same for me as I always have for him. I built him up so much in my mind for so long while I tore myself down that I still can't imagine I'd ever be worthy of his love, and yet he so willingly gives it to me. I fell asleep dreaming of walking on a beach, holding his hand, without a worry of who would see us or what would happen.

November 2021

Our anniversary was approaching and I had a plan. He had some time off and I had a break in my schedule as well so I booked a little trip to Okinawa for us. The weather this time of year there is absolutely perfect. I found a gorgeous seaside resort with a private villa right on the beach, which let me plan out the perfect evening after a few days of fun on the island. There was a little jeweler in town near me that did amazing work. He was old and still loved his craft. I'd admired his work through the windows long before I ever went to talk to him.

I was so grateful that Buenos Aires was a very open-minded town. When I talked to him about getting a ring made, he didn't even flinch when I mentioned it was for a man. He smirked a little before asking me what kind of man he was-big, little, if he works with his hands, if he was the bold or quiet type, how we met. He's obviously done this a time or two. The design he drew up for me soon after was beyond incredible. I couldn't wait to see Haji's face when he saw it.

After I got to Tokyo, I could barely contain my excitement once I saw him at the baggage claim. We threw my bags in the car and got on our way back to his apartment. He laced his fingers with mine as we pulled out into traffic. I couldn't wipe the smile from my face, no matter how hard I tried. "You're awfully cheery for someone who's been traveling for more than a day. You're usually completely wiped by the time you get here." He said, side eyeing me suspiciously.