White Fangs - Jaywon

Dear Nabi

Dear Nabi,

Some months have passed since I've arrived on Earth. I had asked to go to Korea, and it was accepted.
The Council had arranged a past life for me, in which I was a normal boy named Yang Jungwon (they let me keep my original name, but it needed to be completed)
In this life, I went to school, spent a lot of time with my grandmother, and I was a Taekwondo athlete for 4 years.
I don't know how they came up with that, but I did have to train a bit of this taekwondo stuff for it to be believable (it's a martial art).
The Council also put me in a host family, one with vampires as well, so that I could pass for a normal person here.
My host family is okay I guess, and I know it's for my safety, but I'm really upset to be forced into living with vampires again.

I think that's what motivated me to fill in an application form for a survival show. It's like a competition to become an idol.
Here in Korea, artists also dance and perform their music. I don't really know how to explain, music here feels different from elsewhere.
I've spied the Earth for so long! Decades and decades observing humans, their culture, their ways. What obsessed me the most was their music!
Since I discovered this new way of being an artist here in Korea, I've been wanting to come and experience it myself. But of course you already know that.

And you guessed it, I got into the survival. It was a bit hard at first, I had to get into my human role, but as we started with 22 other boys I think it went smoothly.
It was a very good way to practice emotions as a human being (let me tell you, it's not easy!! At least I haven't been bored a single time ahah).
What I liked the most in these first days was the food.
Ah yes, maybe I should explain how food works for me, as you never tasted it.
It's simple, I can eat human food, but I think it tastes less for me than it does for them. I can eat it, but it doesn't nourish me. For that the Council has developed a few decades ago a special pill that I have to take twice a day.
Back in the Shadows, you know we have a special beverage (the fake blood beverage one), but for those assigned on Earth, pills were easier and more discreet.
And taking pills here is so easy! Everyone starts the day taking vitamins, so I just followed the trend.
You should have seen this one boy, Sunoo, he had like ten million vitamins per day.

The weeks have passed and I went through a lot emotionally and physically. I didn't know I'd be so hard acting like I was a human.
Of course, I'm way stronger, faster and overall physically better than humans, as I am a vampire, but I tried my best not to give 100% of myself in the challenges. I even failed some stuff on purpose not to get caught.
Alas, it almost cost me everything in the second to last challenge. I was almost eliminated.

I am not lying when I say that my feelings of sadness and disappointment were true at that time. I really thought my time there was done..
Hopefully it didn't end there.

We got to the point I wanted to share with you:
Since I started this survival show, I've been surrounded by other boys, and started making friends, yes, but there's this one boy.
His name is Jay. And I don't know.. I think I like him more than my other friends here.

Let me tell you a bit about him.
First of all he's really talented. I like how he dances, and how he sings. Sometimes I watch him sleep, and he's adorable (he even slept with his eyes opened once!). I obviously don't do that often, as we're filmed all the time, and I can't risk my cover.
Anyway, he's also very determined and stubborn. He has so much fire inside him, I love that.
We've grown closer to each other and he's very protective of me. Which is silly, as I am a vampire, but he doesn't know, and to be honest, I love being fragile in front of him. It's silly, I know.. But what can I say?
When I ask him to come to me, a simple "Jay Hyung" is enough!
He is very tactile with me. He hugs me, stands close to me and I have to admit that I love it.
And lastly, he is the most handsome person I've ever seen. You should see his eyes. When he looks at me, my brain stops for a bit. His features are so beautiful, I have to concentrate on not looking at him all the time..
The most difficult thing for me is looking at his neck.
I take my pills and everything is fine in that regard, but when my eyes land below his ears, I loose my mind.

And back to what I wanted to tell you, because when I start talking about him I don't stop anymore.
I was almost eliminated in the second to last challenge, and he said that if I was eliminated, he would have broken the super expensive egg-thingy from the show, and ran outside to find me.
I was still very upset from all the emotions of the challenge, but it made me feel something different.
I couldn't help but think about just the two of us, running away together.

Now, I know I'm not allowed to date anyone here, so you don't need to tell me that when you'll answer me, but no one said I couldn't like someone. I know, I know, I can see your eyes looking up. Yes, I'm playing with words, and yes, I'm dancing across this line, I don't care.

All this happened so fast, I have to admit I'm still not used to time here. I've made it to the group!
It is called Enhypen, and has 6 other members : Heeseung, Sunghoon, Jake, Sunoo, Niki and.. JAY
You read right, the boy I like (yeah, I decided to accept it) is in my group!

Don't worry I haven't done anything stupid, I haven't tried any move on him. I just spend a lot of time with him, and I enjoy his presence.

Tomorrow, our company will present the concept of our debut and mini album, I'm really looking forward to it!

I hope you're doing well in the Shadows and I hope to read your answer soon!!

Love, Won

P. S. I'm sorry I waited this long to write to you, but as I was in the survival show, it was difficult to write and give the letter to my host family so that they could deliver it to you..