Our Secret

Chapter 5 Baby Sister

                                                                                        Part 2  

                       ***** WARNING SEXUAL ABUSE CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER *****

The door closed behind my little brother now only a door separating my escape from this situation. A situation that I had no business being in but because I'm the oldest I had no choice but to stay. I had no choice but to help my mother in raising my siblings this also means being involved as well as being put in charge of hard decisions as well as facing challenges that weren't mine to face. 

My mother crossed her arms and sigh as if she was holding back all her anger with one sigh she composed herself and asked.

" what's going on? Why isn't she ready." 

I couldn't believe my eyes and ears I couldn't help but think where were those breathing techniques when I was younger. My sister dodge the question by pretending to fix her hair my mother then looked at me and raised an eyebrow as to underline the situation at hand. I closed my eyes and bite my lower lip bulking my shoulders tensely straight not to show that I was disrespecting but to show security and not fear when speaking to my mother. Because she tends to feed off from that especially when I'm trying to make my case with her. 

" Okay, so this is what's going on she doesn't wanna get dressed." 

My mother rolled her eyes in annoyance as if she doesn't know that she got up and pushed me to the side and walked over to my sister. 

" Get up because I don't have time for this if you don't wanna shower don't it's okay but at least dress decent." 

My sister isn't budging to a single word our mother said my mother then makes her way to her my sister's bed and sits at the end of it and started rubbing her legs. Pleading with her to get ready because she really wanted to eat dinner with us in a nice place. All I could do is stare with pain in my eyes as our mother didn't raise her voice as she didn't raise her hand all our mother was doing was pleading with her and rubbing her leg and hands. Giving my sister's soft hands warm little kisses as my sister still wasn't budging and like everything else our mother folded and gave in. 

" Alright go exactly how you are It doesn't matter anymore." 

It doesn't what!? did I hear that properly? is my mother really letting my sister go again are you kidding me?! As I heard our mother I couldn't help but shoot up a stare at both of them with my eyes my mother read me like a book. 

" Oh don't you start lulu I don't have favorites I just want a peaceful day and I don't need you to be ruining it. This is enough that happened today I don't need any more drama especially from you drama queen." 

She got up and said as she waved her hand to dismiss me entirely and went out the door I couldn't help but have flashbacks of all the times I acted liked my sister. Never once had I had a soft hand rub my legs and hands telling me it's okay if I didn't want to do it I didn't have to. Throughout that day I couldn't help but think of all the beatings I would get from a heated spoon to my thigh to purple blood spilling on my new pajamas. I never once had that option of saying no that word no really was a hard one for me but my mother's glares were worse and my father's disappointing eyes were guilt-tripping enough to give in to whatever they wanted. 

But like many moments such as these were one of many I had to bottle up confused as to what I did worse to deserve those beatings. While she had talks and back rubs what did my sister have that I didn't but things were always like this and sadly they will always be. But as I got older moments, in particular, got harder to swallow moments where if I did that I wouldn't have a place to sleep that same day.