jailbird | b.e.

[8]

kiara's pov:
i woke up to someone cuddling me, holding me so tight. i looked to see billie sound asleep, eyebrows slightly furrowed. her cheeks were tear-stained too.

i kissed her forehead and looked at her for a bit longer than i should have, admiring her perfect features.

billie stirred in her sleep and her eyes cracked open, instantly making eye contact with me. she sleepily smiled, her eyes fluttering closed again as she squeezed me, holding me as close as possible. so cute. am i allowed to say that?

"good morning, sleepy head." i whispered, ruffling her hair softly. billie slapped my hand away before leaning up and puckering her lips.

"you really think i'mma kiss you that easily?" i chuckled. she gave me puppy eyes and i practically melted. why is she acting soft? usually she acts all tough. "you're lucky i'm a sucker for blue eyes." i whispered before leaning down and kissing her softly.

"you good?" i asked, out of curiousity.

billie furrowed her eyebrows before hesitantly nodding. "why?"

"you've been crying." i observed her face. her eyes were swollen and she had tear stains on her cheeks.

"i don't cry." billie lied. "i can't remember the last time i cried."

"mhm." i dragged out. "does last night ring a bell?"

"bro shut up." she deadpanned. "i wanna go make new friends, you're boring."

"okay.. do it then? like.. am i supposed to care or.." i chuckled questioningly.

"whatever."

"don't act like you wouldn't ditch your plans to stay here and eat this pussy-"

"i never said i wouldn't." billie cut me off quickly. "..maybe i'll just go fuck another bitch."

"you might as well, since you'll be homeless and on the streets if you keep up the attitude, billie. i only asked you if you had been crying and here you are calling me boring. fuck outta here. jobless, broke ass." i told her before sighing.

"damn, okay." she chuckled, getting out of bed. i could tell she wanted to say more but she didn't.

"i wanna buy some xans. know any dealers?" billie asked and i raised an eyebrow.

"why would i tell you?"

"because you love me." billie shot me a cheesy smile.

"i really don't." i snorted and billie's smile completely dropped.

"whatever."

billie's pov:
the only two people i've ever loved are kiara and my mom. in the past twenty four hours, my brother told me that my mom didn't love me, and kiara said that she doesn't love me either. maybe she was joking, but maybe she wasn't.

wow my life is so great! aw. amazing.

i walked out of kiara's room and to the bathroom instead of the one in the en suite. i looked at myself in the mirror, inspecting myself.

i furrowed my eyebrows as i started at myself, turning my head from side to side slowly in order to get a proper view of my ugly self.

"nobody loves you"
unlovable

"nobody wants you here, billie. everyone's lives would be so much better if you just never existed."
unlikeable

"because you love me." "i really don't"
unwanted

i don't know why i felt like this. so.. sad. usually i wouldn't care about shit like this. maybe it's because i'm still adjusting to being back in the real world.