Fragile Bones

Chapter Thirty-Six

As one could expect, my parents sort of freaked when I came home after telling them I had fainted at the ice rink. Asher had walked me back to the car and driven me home, and when he offered to come inside with me I didn't say no. I feared if someone wasn't there to hold me accountable, I would end up chickening out and not saying anything at all. He didn't mind this, in fact, he seemed happy to be able to sit with me. My parents were definitely surprised to see him there, and by the way we walked in with our hands together, my father thought we were coming to tell them I was pregnant.

I definitely did not need that on my list of problems.

Once I had assured them that was not the case, I hesitated to continue. Asher recommended that we can all sit at the table together while my dad scrutinized him. I know Asher didn't give off good impressions very often, and the last time he was here was no different, but I told my dad that for my sake, to not say anything. If he made Asher frustrated or annoyed enough to leave me to deal with them on my own, I wouldn't be able to tell them. I realized that as soon as the conversation began.

Asher sat with me on one side of the table, never letting go of my hand while my parents stared at us expectedly. Even if my mom suspected things about my eating, she didn't expect Asher to know about it. I looked up at him and he looked down at me, eyes urging me to find my voice.

It was one of, no, the hardest conversation I ever had to have. Admitting a problem shouldn't be embarrassing, but it was. I know if anyone else came to me with a problem, I wouldn't look down on them, but all I could think about was my parents judgement. I had already gotten through Asher, but it seemed like they could hold more disappointment than him. After all, they were the ones who raised me, teaching me right from wrong. What's healthy, and what's not healthy. How to be confident in yourself.

Instead of being disappointed, they said they felt guilty, which made me feel worse. Even thought they hadn't been missing me much lately, and all of their fighting had added a tremendous amount of stress, I couldn't bring myself to tell them this. At least until Asher brought it up.

"Madeline told me the... issues you two are having. The fighting. I'm sure that didn't help anything," he said, and I tugged on his arm to stop him from saying anything else. Asher had such a blunt way of talking to others, since he truly didn't care what people thought of him. The same softness he often spoke to me with was not involved in his comments to them. In fact, anyone would think he disliked them. I wouldn't be surprised if he did from what he's seen. I knew they weren't awful parents though, and I knew that I couldn't blame them.

My father looked annoyed that Asher said that before his expression changed into one of remorse. He turned to my mom and then dropped his head into his hands. It was hard to see your parents act in this way.

"Asher didn't really mean that," I stammered, making Asher sigh. "I mean, nothing is your guys' fault, every decision I made was mine..." I finished, my voice trailing off into empty air. I leaned back in my chair, pushing my hair in front of my face as I did when I felt uncomfortable. At this point, I wished I could just disappear in it completely. Asher brushed it away from my face and rubbed my back softly.

My mom had been very quiet since this discussion, leaving my dad to do most of the talking. Her eyes followed Ashers arm as he comforted me, and she clenched her jaw.

"Hold on a second, Madeline. Did Asher know about this the whole time?" Unlike my father, who had talked calmly with a twinge of sadness in his voice, my mother sounded annoyed now. At first, she shared her ex-husbands countenance, but it had shifted.

"Well, no. Only a week ago or so, I guess," I answered, not completely sure why this was being brought up.

"And you didn't think to say anything?" She said, turning her direction over to Asher who looked back at her with disdain. "You knew she had an eating disorder, and you stayed silent about it? What kind of a person are you?"