Larry Stylinson One Shots

You Know How I Feel - Part 5

AN// This is the last part before the epilogue, although I don't know when the epilogue will be done/up. Hope you enjoy! :)

-- Kat Xx

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“Wait—are you crying? No. No! You don’t get to cry and make me feel bad, alright. This isn’t fair. I’m supposed to be mad at you.”

Liam hastily wipes his eyes, turning away so Niall won’t see how more tears fall almost instantly. Niall’s right. He’s supposed to be mad. Liam shouldn’t cry to make him feel bad on top of that.

But he can’t help it. Niall’s never been this mad at him before. Never. And now that he is, Liam’s even more angry with himself than he was before. Niall is his best friend and if Liam’s managed to make Niall this mad at him then what’s the point of trying to stay strong anymore.

The next thing he knows, Niall’s arms are around him and he’s pulling him into a cuddle. Liam relaxes into it immediately—this is definitely what he needs, but not what he deserves. “Stop,” he manages to get out through sniffles, though he doesn’t physically protest. “You’re mad at me.”

“I am but I love you,” Niall says, like it’s just that simple. Liam thinks, yeah, it is. He still feels like he doesn’t deserve being held like this, let alone by his best friend who dislikes him at the moment, but he’ll take what he can get.

Liam sniffles again, rubbing his palms over his eyes like a child. His head hurts, his heart hurts, his stomach hurts, and he has no idea how to fix it. How to fix anything right now. Of course he has to apologize, to Niall and Zayn. He has to explain everything to Niall, and then explain it all over again to Zayn.

That is, if Zayn’s still talking to him. Even the idea of Zayn being mad enough at him to not talk to him has Liam sick to the stomach. He just wants to cry himself to sleep. Now, preferably.

That’s not an option though.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, rubbing at his eyes more, then pressing his face against Niall’s shoulder. “’M really sorry. I just.” He sighs, throat feeling tight and searing hot, uncomfortably so.

“You have some explaining to do, mister. But maybe you should get some rest first. I’m still pissed at you and Zayn is too, but—”

“No,” Liam cuts him off. He sits up straight and fixes his shirt. If he can’t at least talk to Zayn right now, he has to talk to Niall. It’s the least he can do, and he hopes it’ll be enough to get him through the day, or until he sees Zayn next. “Just. Just give me a minute.”

Niall squeezes Liam’s shoulder, before getting up. “Of course. Lemme go get you some water.”

Liam sits completely still the whole time Niall is in the kitchen, trying to think of a way he could explain things without sounding crazy, or jumbling things up. He realizes, after a few minutes of trying to put together an explanation in his head, that it would be better to just wing it. He’ll probably forget something, but if he does he can just tell Niall it later, once he remembers. Plus, Niall is his best friend. It shouldn’t be too hard trying to explain why he did what he did.

Niall comes back with two glasses of water and a bag of chocolate candies, and after setting it all down on the coffee table, situating himself and Liam into a comfortable cuddling position to where they can both still reach the water, he says, “Take all the time you need. Josh’s mum came into town unexpectedly and he’s busy, so I have all night.”

Liam smiles a thank you at him, and decides to gulp the whole glass of water down. His throat isn’t itchy and burning anymore, and he feels considerably calmer than before. It’s now or never, he muses, sighs.