Lindsey stayed with Stevie that night after they returned to the hotel from the hospital. And he was planning on staying with her as they had just come back from the funeral. He was genuinely worried about her. It seemed like she'd lost weight, the circles around her eyes were much darker than the ones after a string of parties, she hadn't slept much either and the travelling didn't help. Stevie insisted, she wasn't going to be the reason for Fleetwood Mac cancelling or rescheduling, so the only option was hopping on a plane after each show and coming back in time for the next one.
No more flights to catch. The only thing left now was trying to pick up the pieces. The first big loss in Lindsey's life was when his father died. Back then, he was young and immature still, he couldn't quite grasp the idea of losing someone close. He realized that things were going to be different, but that was all. As he looked at Stevie now, he wondered if he would have been such a wreck as she currently was if his father died ten-fifteen years later. Even though he wasn't quite sure how to deal with it, he fully intended to be there for her in any way she needed him.
"Thank you." Stevie said as they reached her hotel room.
Lindsey was used to seeing her in black, but not like this. It wasn't a beautiful stage dress, it was another reminder of where they'd just returned from.
"You don't have to keep saying that." Lindsey gave her a weak smile and tucked a strand of hair away from her face.
"I wouldn't have been able to survive without you this past week." She admitted and he held her hand up to his lips. "But... you should go back to your girlfriend, I'm sure, you've got some groveling to do."
Lindsey scoffed, shaking his head. "I don't care about her, Stevie. I thought, I've made that pretty clear."
"Yet, you're still with her." She shrugged one shoulder, letting go of him. "I'm going to bed anyway, so-"
"So, I'll lie with you." He cut her off. "I'm not leaving you, Steph. I know, you're trying to be strong, but right now you don't have to be. Not with me."
"Only for a little while." Stevie compromised after considering it for a moment.
Closing the door behind him, Lindsey looked around. It didn't feel like Stevie's room. He was used to seeing candles on every surface, shawls draped over a lamp, a chair, a stick of incense burning somewhere in the corner. Nothing.
"I'm so tired." Stevie sat down at the foot of the bed, placing her head in her hands. "Physically, emotionally. Every way."
"Of course, you are." He nodded, sitting down beside her. "Are you hungry? Would you like me to draw you a bath?"
"No." She reached for his hand and entwined their fingers together. "I just want to lie down."
"Okay." He said and she tugged at his hand, so he'd scoot up to the headboard with her.
Lindsey thought that Stevie had fallen asleep a few times. Each time he leaned over her shoulder to check, he'd find her eyes wide open. At least she wasn't crying. She didn't allow him to pull away either. Even when he tried to switch positions, her grip on his arm tightened, causing him to still again.
Neither of them knew, how much time had passed, when Stevie rolled over onto her other side, their faces now inches apart. She cupped his cheek and smiled a little. Lindsey kept his mouth shut, unsure of where this was going, but keen to find out.
"You remind me of someone I used to know years ago." Stevie said, tracing his bottom lip with her finger.
"Yeah, who?" Lindsey asked, the palm of his left hand slowly stroking her hip.
"You, Linds. The way you used to be. The way I used to be." She sighed, letting the tips of her fingers trail down the side of his neck. "When nothing and no one else mattered, when we just..." She shrugged. "Loved each other."
"I do love you, Stevie." He argued, but that was not, what she meant.
"Not in the way, where you would do anything to give me the world. Not anymore. You're not in love with me, that's different." Over the years, she'd come to peace with that.
"And you haven't changed much. You still enjoy telling me, how I feel." His voice remained calm, but it didn't mean, he liked hearing her say that.
She didn't respond. It was wrong of her to even think about it given the circumstances, but... She just needed to feel something, someone. She needed to be reassured that things were going to be fine in time. Slowly, giving him all the time to back away, she leaned in to kiss him. A soft, lingering kiss, after which she drew back, studying his face. The sudden vulnerability and light in his eyes made her wonder if maybe he did still love her.
After Stevie had taken the first step, Lindsey dared taking the next one. His fingers tangled in her hair and he pulled her closer again, pressing their lips together. He didn't have to fight her as she opened her mouth and moaned softly into his. Without breaking their kiss, he pushed her onto her back and lay down in between her legs. The fact that they constantly fought had never stopped them from having sex. However, usually they did it after yet another argument, still at the venue, their clothes still on. It never lasted. Now, after a very long time, they could finally cherish the moment. Stevie had no clue, where her boyfriend was, and as far as Carol Ann's knowledge of Lindsey's whereabouts - he was still at the funeral. Even she couldn't get mad at him for that.
"I've missed you." Lindsey whispered, nuzzling her neck.
"You had me last week." Stevie replied, cocking her head back into the pillow.
"Not like this." He disagreed, leaving open mouth kisses on her exposed skin.
While his lips pressed to every available inch of her chest, his fingers began working on unzipping her dress to reveal more of her to his hungry eyes. She raised her hips off the mattress, helping him get the garment off her body.
"Your turn." She said, when he attempted to resume caressing her.
He lifted himself up on his knees and his clothes were discarded unceremoniously, dropped down beside the bed in a matter of seconds. His eagerness made her laugh lightly and he smiled, having missed hearing the sound. He silenced her with a kiss, her arms tightly wrapped around him. He'd forgotten how much he'd missed simply kissing her as well. What they usually did nowadays, was a forceful smashing of their lips together until he unzipped his pants and she hoisted up her skirt. This was different, this felt different. It felt nice.
A sigh escaped her, when he brought his hand in between them. So far, there had never been a time, when she wasn't ready for him, but he had gotten used to treating her with great care quickly and this was no exception.
Slowly, carefully he thrust into her, pressing his forehead to hers, her hands on the nape of his neck, eyes locked. This wasn't sex. They weren't going to admit it to each other or to even themselves, but they were making love, something they hadn't done in a very long time either.
Their bodies pressed close, their eyes not leaving each other's for one second, they moved together in perfect unison. He wanted to prolong their lovemaking, everything in him screamed at him to flip her over and prop her on all fours, but that would have been wrong.
"Just a little while longer..." She whispered, planting featherlike kisses on his lips.
