They didn't sleep in the same bed. Stevie wanted to, she asked him, but Lindsey said, no. He didn't think that was a good idea. She just wanted him next to her, she promised, he said, no. She understood. She was upset, but she understood.
A knock on the door made Stevie turn over on her other side. She smiled a little, when Lindsey came in, seemingly unsure of what to say. She patted the empty space beside her on the bed and he accepted the invitation to sit down.
"How are you?" Lindsey asked, he guessed, she had been awake for a while.
"Cold." Stevie replied. "I have a headache."
"Do you want a blanket or something?" She shook her head. "Is it your body begging for a fix?"
"Yeah." She sighed, pulling the covers up to her neck. "But I'm okay."
"Have you slept at all?"
"Yes." She said, looking at him, while his eyes couldn't focus on her. There they were again, another mess she'd created and out of all the people in her life, he was the one to save her for the nth time. "You're so good to me, Linds." She reached for his hand, which remained unresponsive for a moment, until she coaxed him to wrap his fingers around hers after tracing the lines on the palm of his hand. "I don't deserve you."
"You shouldn't keep saying that, Stevie." He sighed, sitting hunched over. "You do. You believe that you don't deserve to be loved, but you do."
"Certainly not by you." She repeated herself yet again. "I don't tell you nearly enough, but I love you, Lindsey. I go out of my way to show you differently, but you will always have a special place in my heart."
Lindsey chewed on the inside of his cheek, suddenly overcome with emotions. She was right, she didn't tell him that often, but when she did, he knew, she meant it.
"Your mother called late last night." He had to change the subject. "She found my number and called to check on you."
"Was she mad?" Stevie hated disappointing her parents. They probably thought, she was finally going to settle down and change her ways of living life.
"Not really." Lindsey shrugged. "Jess is quite happy about how things turned out, though." He added with a one sided smile.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. Apparently, he was relieved that I showed up. At least, there's one person I didn't piss off." The light laughter coming from Stevie widened his smile. "Steph, I've been thinking a lot. I barely slept last night."
"Thinking about what?" She couldn't possibly guess, what was going through his mind right now.
"This might not be something you want to think about right now, but..." He swallowed uneasily, locking eyes with her. "I've been thinking about us. You said, we're fucked up. We are." He agreed, nodding his head. "But I don't think that we can't be fixed. In any sense. We could at least start by working on our friendship." He wished, she stopped him and said something, but she listened instead, allowing him to possibly dig himself into a bigger hole. "It's affecting my life, it's affecting me as a person. When we fight, I lose myself. I don't want to do that anymore. No matter how hard I've tried to move on, I can't. I still need you in my life, I need you to be more than just a member of the same band."
"You can't blame it all on me, Lindsey." Stevie spoke up somewhat carefully. "I'm not the only one, who has had a part in ruining us."
"I know." He agreed. "You're right. What I'm saying is that I want things to change. It's going to require a lot of work and we both have to want it."
"Okay."
"Okay?" Lindsey asked, his eyebrows creased. "That easily?"
"It's not going to be easy." Stevie shook her head. "But I'm willing to try."
