Two Introverts ✔

5 | Just Stand

"Wake up, wake up, it's a brand new day! Wake up, wake up, it's a brand new-"

Charles woke up to the sound of his alarm and shut it off quickly. He couldn't listen to the horrendous voice of whoever sung it any longer. He specifically chose this overly cheerful ringtone as it was the most annoying one out of all, which was convenient as it made him want to get up and smack someone, stripping all the sleepiness from his body. Currently, though, he was still as sleepy as ever. This was the exact reason why he never slept during the day - he'd not be able to sleep at night at all and then the next morning he'd be all sleepy and his sleep schedule would be ruined for the next three days. Sleep quickly overtook him as he dozed off on his pillow again.

"Wake up, wake up it's a brand ne-"

Hearing his alarm again, he shut it off and muttered, "Shut up, you annoying thing," and decided to get up and get ready for school. He groaned in annoyance as he realized it was still Wednesday. There were still 3 more days (4 including this) for the weekend - which was basically just one day, but a holiday was a holiday. He was already dreading it; he didn't want to see Samuel's face yet. He'd feel terrible on the inside and would be constantly reminded of how he made the other so uncomfortable around him. What little hope he had that Sam would warm up to him when they talked vanished in thin air.

Sighing, he finally got up from his bed and went to his bathroom, getting ready to go to school.

* * *

Upon arriving at school, Charles quietly walked over to his seat and sat down. He was anxious - this was the class he shared with Sam and he didn't want to see him yet. He wanted to think of a way to properly talk and apologize to the boy for what he did and how he made him feel. What made him sadder was the fact that there was a possibility that Sam was beating himself up, thinking he was at fault, when he really wasn't - it was Charles' fault. He wasn't able to think properly at all, though, he felt so sleepy. He was one of those people who usually came to school early, so he thought taking a nap wouldn't be a bad idea. He laid his head on the desk tiredly and was about to drift off to sleep, only to be awoken by the sound of Simon sitting loudly next to him.

"Why do you have to be so loud?" Charles asked, clearly annoyed.

"My way of waking you up. See, your favorite teacher's already here."

Too sleepy to argue, Charles cleared his throat and sat up and saw his math teacher enter the classroom. She was, unlike so many other math teachers he'd had before, a very kind and patient teacher who did everything clearly and never got tired of clearing people's doubts. He tried to be as alert as possible. He loved the subject, so it shouldn't be that big of a problem. With that in mind, he decided to concentrate on math - and math only. No Simon, no Sam. Just him and math for now.

* * *

Just like that, the first three classes got over and it was soon lunch break. His math teacher was supposed to show them their marks but she said she'd do that the next day as she wasn't done with correcting everyone's. Charles was okay with that, he was confident he'd done well even though he knew he would've messed up a few questions. But he wasn't too worried. He believed that he'd get what he deserved. 

Throughout the whole time, though, Charles hadn't talked at all, and he knew that Simon knew something was up with him. He'd given him looks in math class, but didn't say much, for which he was grateful. He wasn't going to deny and say no, he was going to tell him and Madeline what was going on inside his head. The other two periods he spent with his other friend, Hayes. They both weren't all that close but they were close enough to entertain each other when bored and help each other in times of need. But hey, what more could you ask from a person who you weren't that close to?

 As soon as the bell rang, indicating that it was lunch, Charles scurried down the stairs to the lunch hall with his lunchbox. He wasn't going to forget it ever again. 

He looked for a familiar brown face with curly hair. Madeline was nowhere to be seen. Weird, he thought. He didn't bother looking for Simon as he knew he was with some teacher, getting lectured. Simon had gotten plenty lectures from Charles himself in the past for not sleeping properly and how it would affect his physical and mental health, but Simon didn't even try to listen to him. He decided that it was best he stopped because Simon knew what was good and bad for him. And if he didn't, well, he'd learn. 

Just as he was looking for Madeline, he passed by a big group of people laughing hysterically. It was the group of people Sam and June usually sat with. Though, today, both of them weren't to be seen. Charles suddenly felt a pang of guilt. He wasn't able to think straight. Was Sam that uncomfortable around him that he stopped coming to the lunch hall totally? Did he hate Charles now?

Yeah, he does... Why wouldn't he? 

Tears were threatening to spill over his eyes as he ran forward, not even bothering to see where. He needed to be alone. He thought of the best and the quietest place to go to - the school's infirmary. He raced through the corridors and entered the infirmary and was relieved to see nobody there. Since it was lunch, the nurse would've probably gone to eat. He was hungry, but had no appetite. 

As hunger took over him, he ate his food in precisely 10 minutes and walked out. It helped that Charles was a fast eater. He would head to his next class and sit there until it started. He could always explain things to Maddie and Simon over text later. With that in mind, he quietly walked up the stairs, looking down at his feet. Once he reached the third floor, where his next class, chemistry, was, he looked for the correct room.  He had already grabbed the books he needed. Just as he was about to go forward and take a left turn to enter his class, he saw someone with their hoodie over their head, face buried in their hands in the class right before his.

It took him a second to realize that it was Sam. Samuel, the small, shy boy who was always glued to June, was sitting all alone inside a class, his body shaking, his face buried in his hands. Charles just stood there and watched. He saw Sam shift his position to lay his head on the desk and face the other side of the class - the side opposite the door. He was completely oblivious to the fact that there was someone watching him, and that that someone was the same person who he'd been with just 24 hours ago. 

Charles just stood there, outside the class, and stared at him for a good 30 seconds after which he heard soft whimpers. 

Samuel was crying. 

He's crying. 

Charles's legs were glued to the floor. He wasn't able to move. He never thought he'd see Sam in the state he was in right then. So vulnerable and broken. Even though Charles couldn't see his face, he could see how distraught he was through the way he was slouching on that desk.

Go ask him what's wrong. Go. 

He couldn't. He was the worst at consoling people, and him being the most awkward human Earth has seen, it made his situation ten times worse. He knew he had to change himself - he couldn't be this way for the rest of his life. 

As tears filled his eyes yet again, he closed them and took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. Just as he was about to do it again, he heard the bell ring. Lunch was over. He gathered enough energy within himself and slowly turned away, going into his next class. He felt horrible. 

Sam wouldn't have wanted to see my face, anyway, he thought, trying to justify his actions even though he knew there was no justification. What he'd done was something so unsympathetic, something Madeline or Simon wouldn't dream of doing. They would be so ashamed of him. He was so ashamed of himself. 

Not knowing what else to do, he simply opened his book and tried to pay attention in class. Unlike most students, he actually enjoyed studying. It helped him focus on something and keep his mind from going haywire. It in turn got him good grades, anyway. 

* * *