Lonely and Confused [completed]

Love Letter #1

Dolly,
and you know who you are,
I love you. I've had a crush on you since the first week we met. You were shy at first.

I can still remember that you wore your burger converse on the first day of school. You had long hair then. I like you with any hair to be honest. Short hair fits you too.

I think the first time I really knew my feelings for you was the first time we hung out. It was before Halloween and I went to your house to watch Mean Girls 2.

It was so fun to just hang out and watch a movie together. It was like we were already dating except without cuddles and kisses (and without you knowing).

I was afraid when I found out that I loved you. I've been attracted to girls before. I knew I was pansexual, but I have never loved anyone, especially a girl.

Yeah, that's right, you're my first love. I know I love you, Dolly, I really do.

My parents are homophobes and I don't want to tell them. Maybe if you start going out with me I'll tell them. They think being anything but straight is a disease. It fucking sucks because I can't even tell them I think you're cute without them scolding me.

My only wish is to make you happy. I've been depressed for three years now. I don't care about my piece of shit feelings. I want to make you happy because I think you deserve it more than I do. I've done bad things, but you've had only bad things happen to you. You've had John play with your feelings, your brother cut off your precious hair, and your parents scold you.

I've seen your cuts and I've helped you.

I burn when I see you, Dolly. I love you so much.

Yeah, maybe I'm being creepy and overly dramatic. I at least want you to know that it's true.

With love
~Claire