Black Rose

Chapter 5: Sorry but I can't break out of my caim.

*Please check out Lucas' character card, up here^^^*

Author's POV

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry you like that," Ileana said softly, her gaze fixed on the road as Kyle drove her home.

Kyle's grip tightened on the steering wheel, his voice laced with bitterness. "The thing is, I think it's pointless for you to say that if you're just going to keep doing it again. Six years ago it was Dysthymia, then therapy sessions, and now you've fainted. I'm sure next year you'll probably have a heart attack or something."

Ileana flinched at his words, the sting of truth hitting her like a wave. She had no response, knowing deep down that his frustration was valid.

"It's because you can't handle it, then why do you keep going back there if it always ends in disaster?" Kyle continued, his voice shaking with concern and anger. "Not a single year has passed without something happening. Why do you insist on doing this, Ileana? At least don't go back unless you know you're ready for it."

Her heart broke as the weight of his words hit her. She never intended to hurt him.

"I'm sorry for putting you through this," she whispered. "I feel like I'm a bad friend. And it makes it worse knowing that his killer is still out there, free. I don't think I'll ever heal unless I know that person is behind bars where they belong. I just want his soul to rest in peace, then maybe I can find peace too."

Kyle softened, his anger dissipating but replaced with concern. "How do you plan on doing that? It's dangerous, trying to find the killer on your own."

"My mom hired a private investigator," Ileana said, her voice steady despite the turmoil inside. "It's been six years. I can't just let time pass by without knowing who did this. I can't live with myself if I do nothing."

Kyle was silent for a moment before he spoke. "I hope for the best. I'll be here with you, for whatever comes next."

Her confusion deepened. "Double reward? Why is that?"

"First, your family will finally be at peace. And second..." Kyle paused, his tone softening. "I'll get my best friend back."

Ileana blinked, confused. "Get me back? How?"

He looked at her for a moment, the pain in his voice hard to hide. "Look at you now, and then compare it to who you were before. Back then, you were... different. You were happier, full of life, even during the bad times. You had the will to live. But now... now it's like you're just going through the motions."

Her heart twisted, hearing the truth in his words.

"I guess for now, I've accepted that I live because I can't die," she said, her voice breaking. "I know it's different from who I was before. Zyair's death changed everything. I lost him, my brother, my mentor, my best friend. He was everything to me. And then... I lost my father's love. He used to spoil me, but now it's like he's a stranger. I lost everything all at once. And in the chaos of it all, I lost myself."

She took a shuddering breath, unable to hold back the tears. "I don't know how to get back to who I was. I wish it was all a dream. I wish I could go back to that perfect life."

Kyle was quiet for a long time, his hand on the steering wheel as he processed her words.

"I know it's hard," he finally said, his voice gentle. "I know no words can fix this. But remember what you told me once?"

Ileana looked at him, confused.

"The one way to heal is by accepting that you can't take away the pain, but you can do things to distract yourself from it. You told me that when I lost my grandmother."